Fingers Crossed

OK -- so I worked all afternoon yesterday prettying up the children's book manuscript, incorporating some of the suggestions from various readers. I didn't think it would take me long to do, and it really didn't. I enjoyed being immersed in the work. Such satisfaction is always there for me, getting some writing work accomplished. I groomed the thing into as perfect condition as I can make it, wrote a cover letter, affixed an SASE, shoved it all into a big envelope addressed to the first publisher on my list -- a big house, with fingers crossed. I have absolutely no contacts at this house, so the manuscript will have to sink or swim on its own. It has been 20 years since I sent something out unsolicited. It feels a little daring and capricious.

As I was putting the packet together memories of all those early rejection slips came back to me full bore. I literally papered the walls of my little office with them. I had a corkboard wall on two sides of the room, which was a glorified storage room at the head of our garage in San Marcos. As each rejection letter came back, I pushpinned it to the corkboard wall. Back then it was affirmation. Now, I hope it won't be too distressing for me. I'm sort of putting my faith blindly in my writing ability, lining myself up to get shot down.

I actually do know an editor at the house I'm sending this to, but he's not in the children's department. And it's been eons since I've spoken to him. He used to be one of the editors at Algonquin, not mine, but I did meet him when I was in North Carolina, and have talked on the phone to him several times. I've no doubt he would remember me, but it seems sort of cheesy to contact him and ask for favors. So I've decided not to. Partly because I want my writing to stand up on its own. I think it would feel much less satisfying to pull strings to get this little book published. Besides, I did list my credentials in my cover letter. Hopefully they will be enough to raise the manuscript out of the slushpile, or at the very least, get a first reader's attention. Anyway, I'm going to try to forget that my "baby" is out there in mail hell, making its way to New York. I did put a delivery confirmation on it so I can track it online if my curiosity gets the better of me.

Control freak that I am, I don't want go through an agent at this point. My SO and I talked about this at length the other day. I think he believes I should get an agent, but I still have such a bad taste in my mouth from the last one. And I really do like to know what's going on with my stuff. I'm pretty business-savvy, negotiated my first two contracts on my own, and the last movie option on my own, too. I've got a lawyer who has educated himself about publishing contracts, and my CPA has also educated himself on the writing business, tax-wise and otherwise. Between the two of them I think I can get my questions answered and I'm certainly not afraid to ask questions. Oh ho, I really do have my hopes up here, already thinking about negotiating contracts. What confidence! Or is it conceit? Hmmmmm.

Speaking of contracts, I went ahead and signed a six month extension with the filmmaker. Really did not want to do it at first, had so many misgivings about the script, so she sent me the latest one. I read it while I was in Denver, made meticulous notes, mostly about my objections. In the end, though, I felt it had merit. The email I sent to her was forthright and detailed. I told her all the things I objected to and why, and incredibly, she did not make trite excuses like "that's Hollywood," which I have certainly heard before. She thought every point I made was valid, suggested ways she could rewrite the script to satisfy me and make the thing better. She is in the process of doing that now, promises to send her final draft to me by the middle of March, and I'm really just astounded at her openness and generosity.

While we were emailing back and forth, she had her producer email me also, giving me the straight scoop about where they are with this whole thing. They really seem convinced the movie will begin filming this summer. At any rate, I renewed the option through the end of August, with the up-front agreement that this will absolutely, positively be the last time. What do I have to lose really? If nothing happens, I still would like to write a script of this book, although I'm not certain it would be any better than the one they have now.

Which all makes me wonder about the possibilities of getting LILY back into print. I've had all the rights reverted to me, did that several years ago. If the movie does get made, it will probably be a simple thing to find someone to do a reprint. But I would really love to make that happen anyway, if possible. I wonder how one goes about finding a house that does reprints?

So ... I really am trying to amp up my writing career again. I do know I've gotten lazy. I'm as hard to start as an old Ford. But once I sit down at the desk, I can still make things happen. I just know that it's not as pressing to me as it once was, and I have a lot of ideas about why that's so. I know I keep saying this, but those ideas will have to wait for another, more introspective post than this one. For now, I'm going with hope.

Onward ....