An Episode With the Cat

I have had a couple of stressful days with the kitty. I took him in on Tuesday for his annual teeth cleaning. When I went back to get him, it was as if some kind of weird change had overtaken him. For one thing, he was not fully awake from the anesthesia. When I peeked in at him in the car, he hissed at me and struck out at the front of his carrier. I charged it off to him still being groggy.

When we got home, I decided to leave him in his carrier with his blanket thrown over the top, in a quiet place in the house so he could wake up better. Every so often, I went in to check him and to talk to him. His eyes were still doing circles in his head, even after two hours. He was also complaining. So I carried him and the carrier upstairs, shut the guest room door and the gate at the top of the staircase. I didn’t want him trying to jump on the guest bed, or climb down the stairs, since he still seemed so out of it, but I figured he was hungry and thirsty and maybe needed to use his box. 

He came out of the carrier like a dart, but then wandered fitfully around my office like a drunk. He didn’t seem to recognize me at all, and was especially skittish. This cat has always had a tendency towards skittishness, but he was clearly still not his old self. I left him alone up there, careful to close the gate when I came back downstairs. 

A couple of hours later, I went up to check on him. He was lying just inside the gate and he spoke to me when he saw me coming up the stairs. I eased opened the gate and he shot past me, racing downstairs. OK, I thought, we’ll see how he does with rejoining the household. And for a while, he did all right, lying on a sheet of newspaper between the two lounge chairs. 

My SO is out of town working, and about 9:00 he called to check in on us. While I was on the phone with him, the cat suddenly began to hiss and growl. I thought maybe the dog had walked up and spooked him, but soon realized that these angry hisses and growls were aimed at me. The dog was in the sunroom asleep on her wicker settee. I quickly hung up, and all the while, the cat was angrily sounding off. I called the dog, to keep her from becoming embroiled in the conflict, and closed her up in the bedroom. When I came back to the living room, the cat began again to hiss and growl at me. I decided to go on to bed, and let him have the run of the house, hoping he would be better by morning, but I was upset and almost cried on the phone to my SO.

Next morning, when I awoke, I ventured out to see how the kitty had fared overnight. He vocalized as I came in the living room, and even let me sit in the floor and pet him, as we routinely do first thing in the morning. I picked him up, gave him a hug, and set him on his condo. He accepted his morning treats, in fact, seemed ravenous for them, so I gave him more than usual. He watched me open all the blinds to let the morning into the room, and then he jumped down from his condo and began again to hiss and growl at me. And again, I walked away. 

The dog was at the sliding door wanting to be let inside. I always let her out the door in the bedroom when we wake. She came exuberantly inside as she always does, wanting her boney-treats. The cat began to hiss and ran under the table. Immediately, I took the dog back out,. Then went to feed the fish. I was so shaken up by the whole episode that I dropped the bag of algae wafers and some spilled out on the carpet. The cat ran over and acted as if he were going to start eating the wafers, so I shooed him away. He bowed, hissed, and ran up the stairs growling. I waited a beat, then followed to close the gate  behind him, basically caging him in upstairs. I came back down and called the vet. I asked  what had happened yesterday when he was there, and she told me that he had “gone postal” on them when they tried to take him out of his carrier, lunging and spitting. They’d had to throw a towel over him to bring him out. She couldn’t explain it, and I wondered why they hadn’t told me of this behavior. I spent the rest of the morning chatting online with an animal behaviorist in Austin.

After these discussion and my assessment of things, I started putting together the puzzle pieces. I had taken the cat in at 7:30 in the morning. When I called at a quarter to one to see how things had gone, the dental tech said he had just come out of surgery, which means that for roughly 4 hours he sat inside his carrier listening to other cats have their teeth cleaned, smelling all their fear, and generally becoming more and more traumatized. Another clue to what had happened were the diaper-like objects inside his carrier and his ruffled appearance. I’m pretty sure he must have soiled himself. And here’s the other thing -- I have been paranoid about him ever since last year when he nearly died. As a consequence of that, I have been rushing him to the vet every time he seems a little off. So I’m partly to blame as well. But now I’m worried about how he will react when I pack him up to go to the cabin in a couple of weeks. I’m so glad that I have one carrier for the vet and one for traveling, and have never interchanged them. I call them the “doctor” carrier and the “fun” carrier. I sure hope the trip is fun. We’ll see. 

This morning, all seems well. Last night, after I put the dog to bed and let the cat come downstairs, he willingly jumped in my lap, purred and rubbed his head on my hands. He has done the same this morning. He seems back to his loving self. But this whole incident has taught me again that old lesson about domesticated animals. They are not human. They have their own set of life rules and we should never forget that. They are tamed but they are capable of feral behavior when their boundaries are crossed, or when they get too overwhelmingly fearful, which is what I think happened on Tuesday. The joy that they give us is not always unconditional.

Onward ....

A Little Piece of Dark Chocolate

Right before I went to bed tonight, I carefully selected a piece of dark chocolate from the SO's Valentine box of Godiva's. And I guess that was enough caffeine to keep me awake. Because after two and a half hours of tossing, here I am back up and writing this. I lay there with  my mind wandering all over the place. Reminded me of an Ellen DeGeneres skit I saw once where she stream-of-conscious recounts lying in bed trying to go to sleep with her mind that wouldn't turn off. She made it sound hilarious. For me, not so much.

It seems the trains here are getting louder. They come by faster, too. We live a half mile from the track, much farther than I was in my house in Victoria, but still, they seem to roar louder than they used to, and they're longer, heavier, loaded down with coal going to the power plants. Maybe it's because it's winter and there are more of them with the unusual cold we've been having. Or maybe it's because the air lately has been dense with humidity. I remember that it seemed so quiet here when we first moved in, not even three years ago yet. I notice in the mornings, now, when I go for the paper, that there's so much more traffic out on the highway, truck traffic mainly. It's just busier than it was then.

The oil patch has arrived. I don't know why we call it the oil patch because in reality it's natural gas. Exploration. Everybody around here is a-buzz about it, too. There are pipelines going down, wells going up, trucks with heavy equipment everywhere, rutting the roads and littering. Some of the trucks are full of mysterious drilling fluids. Others, I call them tail-draggers, are full of used up fluids taking them to some nearby hazardous waste dump. Overnight millionaires abound.

We live at the eastern edge of the Reynolds Escarpment. And underneath the earth here is what they call Eagle Shale. Hydraulic fracturing is the method they're using to extract the gas from the shale. It's dangerous to the water table, and I fear for our water well. "Fracking" has led to many contaminated wells in other places where the oil patch has come and gone. It's one of those double-edged swords, this energy boom. There are buildings that have been vacant for 15 years that suddenly have new paint and polish, signs with names of companies that make no sense to an outsider like me. Motels are full. Rental property is gone before it's listed. I know of five new RV parks that have sprung up from nowhere. It's good for the local economy, and the instant millionaires would argue that there isn't anything bad about what's happening here. But I fear for the water wells. And I wonder what will happen to real estate prices as soon as the Eagle Shale plays out. If I could, I would sell this place now before the water gets spoiled, and while real estate is bringing top dollar. I could probably make a small fortune, but then where would I live? I would move AWAY away, but Daddy is still here, and he's not going anyplace else.

He called yesterday. "I need help," he said. I heard panic in his voice. My heart jumped into my throat. But it was his dog. She had swallowed a bone wrong and it was stuck. I told him I was on my way. It was a very long 3 miles. I couldn't remember if he'd said the bone was stuck in her mouth or her throat. I prayed it wasn't her throat. My car was running on fumes, but I skipped the gas station, drove as fast as I dared through all the neighborhood streets.

She came racing to the fence, as always. I could see the lump in her jowls. I went through the house and out the sliding door. She was overjoyed to see me, again, as always. Jumping and whining. Daddy said some things to me that I didn't really hear. I called her out into the grass. He had watered so I had to find a dry place to make her lie down. She minded me. She usually minds me. She laid still and let me pull the bone out. It was stuck tight at an angle like a cigar between her cheek and her teeth. The bone was jagged but she didn't seem to be bleeding. I imagine her cheek was scraped on the inside.

Daddy was so grateful, and also amazed at how easily I handled her. She's a big girl but sweet natured. I think she trusts me. Anyway, I don't have any trouble getting her to do what I want. I don't have any trouble with my own animals either. The dog lets me clip her hindquarters without a struggle, and massage her joints when she's limping. The cat lets me swab dirt from his ears and even bathe him without much of a fuss. Maybe it's the matter-of-fact tone I use that let's them know I expect no nonsense from them, but that I also don't intend to hurt them either. I let my tone of voice tell them that I'm in charge and am going to do whatever it is I have in mind to do without a fight. It's about trust, and the fact that I don't believe in punishment, nothing past a verbal reprimand, which hurts their feelings enough in my opinion. Nothing is gained from physical punishment of an animal, except a breaking of their spirit. Not a desirable quality in any animal.

Bluebonnets are coming up along the driveway. I noticed them this morning. They're just seedlings at the moment, but I'll watch them over the next few weeks for any sign of buds. I have other seedlings in the greenhouse, too. I just planted most of the things (tomatos, squash, peppers, herbs, and flowers) in there last Friday and Saturday, and just four or five days later, voila! baby plants are appearing. That always delights me. Don't know how in the world I'll bring off a tomato crop this year, with us flitting back and forth between the two houses, but I'm going to give it a go. Can't help myself.

We're talking about a cruise. Maybe in April. Just talking at this point. Eastern Caribbean. Holland America line. They keep sending us these irresistible brochures with special deals for past "mariners"-- their name for anyone who has ever cruised on their line. We'll see how far we take it.

Oh, maybe that chocolate has worn off by now......

Onward .... (& back to bed)

Cross-Referenced & Out There

A good friend has had her book accepted for publication. I wish we lived closer so I could celebrate with her -- it's quite a feat these days to have something new accepted. Publishing is changing faster than most writers can comprehend.  There's so much self-promotion involved, and so much e-this-and-that. I've worked for a week to get myself cross-referenced on Amazon with the various versions of LILY now, and with an author page, etc. Now, I'm told I need a personal web site. Geez!

Read an article in a magazine today about branding yourself, as in self-promoting not the actual thing -- branding like cattle. The writer had attended a webinar about self-branding, trying to become more relevant. He was obviously an old dinosaur like me. Well, in fact, this was all about ME. No, not me myself, but market branding "ME." Everyone's so-called Unique Selling Proposition, and developing our own brand to pinpoint what sets us apart, playing up our achievements, our consistencies. Well, I found all this difficult back in the old days (translate that to the 1990s) and maybe even harder now. That's not to say I'm not game. I just never have had anyone tell me exactly how to go about defining myself and what I do best.

Thinking about all this consistency stuff, I've never liked the idea of pigeon-holing my stuff quite that definitively. I always wanted to leave myself a way out of writing to a particular genre. I wanted, and still do want, to write things that are different from what I've already done. I have The Endless Novel, which is more consistent with my other novels (could that be why it's "endless?"), as well as a western, young adult novel with a few chapters written, and a screenplay with a few written scenes, and a memoir that has also stalled. Well, and then there's the children's book that keeps coming back to me. Got it back again just a couple of days ago. I still like it but nobody else seems to agree with me on that one.

I have a vision for all of these projects, just need to get them out there, and need to take some lessons from my writer -friend with the new publishing contract. She has this whole new wave of Internet publishing figured out. I'm trying to get there but I feel like I'm falling behind.

(BIG SHOVE)
Onward ....

Valentine's Day & Kindle Book

Thought I would take a minute, while my SO is out getting me a Valentine (I KNOW that's what he's doing!) to announce here that LILY is now available in the Kindle Book store. I hope it will give new life to that book, but I realize I'm going to have to find ways to promote it, and promoting my books has never been easy for me. But maybe in this electronic age, it won't be as hard on the psyche.

Some writers are wonderful with self-promotion. I have never been one of them. It goes against my upbringing, which stressed humility, at least for the women in my family. So it just feels wrong to go out and toot my horn endlessly. The other thing is, I'm turned off by writer's who do that, even at the same time envying them that ability.

Roses just walked in the door. He went overboard again! They're gorgeous -- pink, red, white, fuchsia, and some that are yellow with red tips. Two dozen. Been a while since I had two dozen roses. I gave him a box of Godivas and he's having fun mapping them, then eating them with delicacy. I don't think he's ever been given a box of Godivas. Fun for me, too!

I'm still on the Weight Watchers, but not losing as much as I wish. Of course, there have been things that have come up, particularly this week. Why is everything focused around food? We had Daddy over for pork steaks on the grill Friday night. Then Saturday took SO's son over to the country club for the special Valentine's dinner they had there - prime rib and flourless chocolate cake, yikes! Lots of points that night. Then tonight, my sweetheart's taking me to town to a fancy restaurant for dinner. More big points! So far I'm maintaining the weight I have lost, the little bit I should say. I weighed this am and it was still gone. I sure wish I didn't have to watch my weight so closely -- didn't used to have to, not until I got into my 40s. Oh well. Part of being a woman, and only 5'3" at that.

Onward ....

Egyptian Revolution, History in the Making

Have been watching closely for the last week, the situation in Egypt. I haven't been able to take my eyes or attention off of it. My SO has been less obsessed but is also paying attention. After days and days of growing crowds, protests, endless interviews and Facebook messages, now, I'm watching the television as Mubarak steps down. It's a momentous event in world history, and part of why I've watched with such absorption is the unknown factor: because of the part of the world Egypt resides in, because of the uncertainty I'm sure the people of Israel feel, because of the militant Islamists over there. But despite all of that, it causes one a surge of happiness for the Egyptian  people. They won. Resoundingly. And that fact must make them jubilant even with all the unknowns ahead. And this victory came, for the most part, bloodlessly.

Now, if the world will help them stabilize, and give them the time needed to form a more democratic nation. It took our country twenty years and two wars to come fully into our own. That's a fact that a lot of people overlook. It wasn't until we defeated the British in the War of 1812 that we became a fully recognized country in our own right to the world, and to our enemies most especially.

And speaking of enemies, I hope Egypt doesn't become one now. I hope our government will butt out of their business and only help in ways that are positive and productive for the Egyptian people. I also hope that now that victory has come for them, the young people, who are some of the main instigators in this revolution, won't back away from the fundamental processes that will be needed to keep Egypt modern and progressive, moving forward.

Onward ....

A Funeral, Steaks, and a Horse Discussion

Funeral yesterday. A dear old friend lost her 47-year old son to a heart infection. He had been sick for a while, but once the infection really took hold, he didn't last long. They sent him home from the hospital last Saturday and he died Monday night.

This son was my friend's difficult child. He, and my equally troubled younger son, are part of the reason she and I became such close friends. We shared that in common. My son was always doing things her son had already done, and vice versa. We comforted each other. There's a bond between mothers of troubled children. We can confide in each other in a way that mothers without these troubled children can't do. Hard to explain but there is relief in knowing, when you're going through hard times, that you are not alone, that others have shared your experiences.

But all that aside, it was a sad event, to go to this funeral yesterday. There were whispers that the cause of the heart infection could have been intravenous drug use. No one is really sure, though, and rumors do fly in these small towns. The service was in an old Lutheran church, one I have admired for many years, and I must admit I enjoyed seeing the inside of the building. I also appreciated having my SO with me. A lot of the people at this funeral were old acquaintances from before my divorce, and many seemed surprised not only to see me but to see me with this tall stranger -- a stranger to them anyway. I was glad he got to meet people I had told stories about, and see them for himself.

My friend's husband was one in particular that I have wanted my SO to meet, because I felt sure they would like each other immediately. They did. This man is salt of the earth, and he and my SO talked about cattle for several minutes. The husband of my friend seemed almost giddy, jabbering a lot more than I have ever known him to do. I understand that giddiness, having felt it myself at Mother's funeral. It comes from knowing the nightmare is nearly over, and also from relief that the suffering had ended. At least, the suffering of the loved one is over. The survivor grief hasn't yet hit. And despite the troubles this son had brought, I'm sure there were thoughts and memories of his childhood, when there was still so much promise.

We came home, got out of our funeral duds, and cooked steaks out on the fire ring. We also had some cocktails, and watched the cat and dog enjoy being outside. It's been so cold this week that neither of them had been out much. The dog especially has had cabin fever, so she ran the back yard, hunted lizards who have long gone into hibernation, and played imaginary squirrel with me. The cat went looking for things to roll around in -- the maize seed under the bird feeders being his primary find. I had to dump the ground bird bath to keep him from drinking the nasty old water still left from the last rain. A chunk of ice was in the bottom. After the sun went down, the cold crept in, and we quickly finished with the cooking and came back inside. Hot tub felt good later. I love to sit in the 100 degree water when the outside air is frosty.

We again discussed getting a horse. This idea keeps arising and I hope I can keep talking it down. My SO wants to ride again, and it's starting to push at him. We're going to visit his trailrider friends in a couple of weeks, and I think that's what has him thinking about this. He had gone to his land the other day to check everything over before the big freeze, and while he was there, inspected the old saddle out in his shed. I reminded him of how much work and how expensive a horse is, and how we wouldn't be able to up and leave the way we do if we had a horse. It's already trouble enough with a cat and a dog. He agreed, but I could hear the longing in his voice. It might have been brought on by the visit with my friend's husband. Two old country boys talking about their animals and old memories. Searching for that long-gone youth. Or maybe it was just having been to a funeral and realizing, once again, the brevity of life.

Today is Super Bowl. Not that either of us really cares. But we will watch the game, maybe share a pizza. I've started Weight Watchers, been on almost two weeks and have lost five pounds. But it isn't easy with a man who loves to eat the way this man does. I had only a small piece of steak and salad for supper, but the cocktails we drank really ate into my extra points for the week. And next up is Valentine's Day. I've already threatened to hate him forever if he brings home chocolate candy or cake or pie on that day. I hope he doesn't forget my threat, good sweetheart that he is.

Onward ....