Back at the Cabin

Left Denver yesterday morning about 9:15. Took six long hours to finally get back to the cabin. It was snowing up on Elk Mountain, but in the Valley it was 51 degrees. However once the sun goes behind the mountains, it chills down pretty quickly. I kept a fire going until bedtime.

This morning I put together the shelving unit I bought in Denver. I have the office just about done now, and I really feel that I could write here. Unfortunately, we're leaving in a few days so there won't be time to get anything sustained going, but it's good to feel the urge anyway. I might want to come up here by myself some time soon and just SEE if any writing might happen.

Meanwhile, on the Kindle front -- got the proofs from the people doing the conversion. They scan the book, then turn it into a WORD file. From there they format to Kindle, and the other e-readers. Anyway, I really didn't like it that the final WORD doc has a space between each and every paragraph in the book. I was under the impression that the Kindle version would look just like the hardcover pages, and that spacing bothered me. Primarily, as I tried to explain to the man I've been dealing with, because there are quite a few intentional spaces for time transitions within the text and they don't stand out a bit with all this spacing that has been put in with this conversion. I've requested that they take out all the paragraph spacing and he said that they would, although he didn't sound happy about having to do it. I guess I'm just too picky, don't know. But I figure if I'm paying for it, I want it done right.

Speaking of Kindle, I finished reading the first book I downloaded onto mine - A VISIT FROM THE GOON SQUAD by Jennifer Eagan. I had read a review of the book in TIME and it sounded intriguing. The novel was written in a weird, non-linear way that I really liked, almost like a jumble of characters thrown into stand-alone short stories, but that all had connecting threads. These kind of innovative books always make me want to write again. I think it's the endless possibilities, the opportunity to try something new, that always tugs at me.

Last night, since I was here alone, I rewatched "Sixth Sense," that old movie with Bruce Willis and Tony Collette. I had seen it before -- who hadn't? -- but since my SO likes it so much, I thought I should give it a second chance. I did like it more this time than I did the first time. But I still didn't think it was worthy of an Oscar nomination for Best Picture. Pluuueeese! Must've been an off year.

The cat was very happy to see me. The dog wasn't as happy to see the cat. They had a little altercation, with the cat dominating, of course. I seem to spend all my time when I'm alone with the two of them, trying to make each of them feel they're special. They are, of course, but they're just so damned jealous.

Onward ....

Denver Again and Kindle

Drove to Denver on Thursday. I had no map and no trouble until five miles before my destination. The traffic is really bad here, and it's the second year in a row that I've noticed how smoggy it's become. I think the mountains hold the C2O in more than normal, but it causes my SO upper respiratory distress nearly every time we come here.

So the market is going on, and I'm already bored, after only a day and a half. I'm thinking about going over to this good mall that's near our hotel. I need to look at something besides boots and saddles. In all honesty, I did find some things yesterday for the cabin: a nice framed print of a teepee camp for $75 and a $20 ceramic plaque of Kokopelli for the bathroom. Stuff is lots cheaper than out in the world, and I think I'll buy a Mayan rug I've seen. We both like it and we'll hang it on the wall above our easy chairs, also at the cabin.

Last night we had dinner with the people who have started a new clothing line they want my SO to represent. There were two other reps there and the most obnoxious couple I've met at one of these things so far. The woman was absolutely combative about Mexican food, really got her hackles up when we said we hadn't yet found any Mexican food in New Mexico that we liked. She was just incensed by that, and tried to argue us down in the most shrill voice. My diplomatic SO kept saying that it was all in what you're used to, but that just wasn't good enough for her. She wanted us to take it back, and of course, we would not. We tried to explain, laughingly, that Texans are just really snobby about Mexican food and barbecue, but she would have none of it, and became so abrasive, I finally stopped talking to her. People are really so damned odd. Anyway, there's one more dinner on Sunday night, and that one should be less stressful. People we know well, and whom we like, the ones who own the boot company which is my SO's primary line.

The dog is even more bored with the whole thing than I am. I feel sorry for her having to be cooped up all day, but there's just nothing that can be done for it. I will at least be taking her home early with me on Monday. I got a call from the cat sitter, and kitty is having stomach issues again. She wanted to know if she should take him to the vet. I would feel better to wait until I'm back and can do it myself. I'm worried about my old kitty. I'm afraid we could be looking at his last year with us. It will crush my heart if that's so. He has been such a good, loving little fellow for all these 14 years that I he's been with me. I've never felt as special of a bond with an animal as I do with this cat. H's been my funny and wonderful companion through lots of ugly times.

Last post I mentioned my Kindle that my SO gave me for Christmas. I have been balking at the idea of having to pay to have my books formatted for e-readers. But after having the Kindle for less than a week, I was online looking for a place that could do the formatting, and found one. I think they are going to turn out to be super good. So far, I've been pleased with all the attention to detail. It's LILY I have given them to convert. Two days ago I was sent the WORD version of it, and have barely had time to look at it because of this Denver show. I'm kind of getting excited at the prospect of having an electronic version of the book, at least it's a way to get it back "in print." If it goes well, I'll have the others done. What I'm confused about, though, is how to promote it, and how to keep it from getting mixed up with books that are just being self-published to Kindle. Books and publishing are in such a transitional phase right now, and it remains to be seen how it will all puzzle out.

Onward ....

Catching Up With the New Year

What a difference a few weeks and a new year can make. I realized this as I read my last post, oh so long ago, it seems.

We have been at the cabin in New Mexico for three weeks now, and have just got hooked up with internet service. I had bought a device to plug into the USB port on my laptop to pick up broadband through the cell signal, which is strong in our valley. But alas, the cell towers were not compatible and that effort flopped miserably. I got a refund at least. So, now we are back to receiving our internet service through satellite, same as back in Texas. Well, at least it works.

The day we arrived here, the 29th of December, we drove into the driveway at the exact same time as a blizzard was arriving. I was upset by it mostly because we were supposed to have a washer and dryer delivered the next day, and I was afraid that wouldn't happen with the bad weather. But the delivery boys braved the mountain and the snow, which was falling hardest just as they got here. Despite the bad weather, they completed the installation, hauled off the old dead machines, and kept their good sense of humor through it all. The people here are all very accommodating and pleasant, we are finding. Might have something to do with living in such a beautiful place.

However, New Year's Eve was pretty miserable. The wind was howling, snow all over the place. We felt cabin-bound, and both of our tempers flared for a moment. I was cold all that day. We did venture down to the restaurant for supper that night, a trip that should take about 3 minutes took 20 because of the slick, snowy road and strong wind. They said we had gusts up to 60 mph that day. Which sent the chill factor plummeting to minus 20, tough conditions for two old South Texas transplants. Hell, I was 14 years old before I ever saw snow for the first time, and have only experienced it down there three times in my whole life. Anyway, we had a good meal, met some more neighbors, had cocktails, and enjoyed the rest of the night.

Next morning we installed our new 42 inch flat screen TV that we had given each other for Christmas. We even get some of the networks this time, although they come to us out of San Francisco -- an odd thing, and we have to keep remembering about the time difference. Jay Leno doesn't come on until 11:30, much to the SO's chagrin. That evening, I made a big meal of ham and black-eyed peas, and we drank the champagne that we hadn't been in the mood for the night before. Tasted good. The wind had quit howling. Our moods had improved. We also discovered the blower on the fireplace, which helps greatly to keep this cabin warm. It's a constant job, tending that fire though. You have to add logs at least two times per hour, and poke them around in between additions. My SO seems not to tire of it, thank god. And we have a good fireplace here, unlike the one in Texas which smokes and doesn't draw properly.

A few days later, the SO's granddaughter and her boyfriend arrived -- our first house guests. They came to ski, and it kept them busy for most of the five days that they were here. One day, we did take them sightseeing around this part of the Sangre de Cristos. We took lots of pictures and enjoyed the day. The place got quiet again after they left.

We've had another snow and more cold weather since then. Was 3 degrees  yesterday morning when we awoke. But somehow, we've acclimated now and it doesn't bother us as much. Or me as much, I should say. I don't think my SO was ever bothered as much as I was, sun bunny that I have always been. It's weird, though, how 20 degrees here feels so much warmer than 20 degrees would feel at home. Humidity can't be the whole of it, because the humidity has been as high as 80 percent here since the first of the year. It just must have to do with the air, that's all I can think of to explain it. The air is just cleaner and fresh, thinner, too.

Anyway, my SO left for Denver this morning, and I will join him tomorrow. I'm loathe to leave the cabin, and I really don't care for Denver much, or Colorado for that matter. I'm one of the only people I know who thinks Colorado is highly overrated. Sorry, to any of my Colorado friends who might read this. But seriously, most of you don't mind stating your contempt for Texas, do you? Of course, I do still love my native state, even though I seem to have, oddly, also fallen hard for New Mexico.

So, I will try to do better about writing here in the future. I have things to share that I haven't touched on this time -- mostly about my Christmas Kindle and how it has inspired me to do certain things. But for now --

Onward ....

Making New Memories, What?

The Christmas blues are upon me. It's starting to affect my every day life. We have had way WAY too much of it this year, too many houseguests, too many gatherings, just too much period. I'm ready for life to get back to normal, calmer, less stress, less cooking, less have-tos, less. We have one more thing, and then it's over. I'll be taking down all the decorations probably by Christmas Day night.

And isn't it just pitiful that it isn't even officially Christmas yet and I already feel this way? What has happened to us that we make ourselves insane with all this STUFF that is supposed to be fun? Part of the trouble, I think, is this "memory" thing we humans have in our brains. I want to make new memories, but it's hard to let go of the old memories, and I still feel all the old demands even though they really aren't there anymore. Unless I make them be there, which I have a habit of doing. More and more, I think ignoring the holidays sounds like a good idea. Or at the very least, doing something COMPLETELY different, like booking a cruise, or taking a road trip. Wouldn't it be nice to spend Christmas in a B&B somewhere like Ireland, where the traditions are their own, and where we would be forced to think outside the box, as they say? Next year, we plan to go to the cabin early and spend Christmas there. I think that sounds wonderful.

The children's book I wrote earlier this year has come back form-rejected from yet another publisher. Guess it isn't as outstanding and original as I thought. Also guess credentials don't mean much. I'm surprised by the form rejections. I'm also surprised by how long it takes to get a response. Publishing has certainly changed since the 90s. If I had someone who could illustrate the book, I swear, I would self-publish the damned thing.

This little book has been a sort of tipping my toe in, testing the water again. And I don't like the chill I'm feeling. It doesn't do much to make me want to finish the endless novel, that's for sure. Yet, I have been contacted by two readers in the past month who had just read one of my books and wanted to get in touch. Both felt moved enough to write to me, and that just shows me that the kind of books I have written and would like to write again, are not out of style. I think it's the publisher's who get it wrong, but then, I've had that opinion for a long long time.

Onward .....

Merry @&%$*)$*#& Christmas!

The party over the weekend went off well. Ended up with 22, which was the headcount the last time we had one of these shindigs. One of my cousins who lives nearby didn't come, and I missed seeing him. And the mother of my grandson, along with my grandson, was a no-show. She waited until the party was underway to send a cryptic email. It really did put a damper on the whole thing for me.

As I age I see why the holidays are so stressful. There has to be someway to offset the accompanying depression. Maybe the answer is to downplay the whole season. Part of what happens is the memories of past Christmases, which are probably enhanced by distance, rise up and beckon. When I try to remember which were the best holidays, the ones that come to me are from my childhood primarily, or from the childhood of my own children, and these are circumstances that are impossible to replicate. I'm ready to start new traditions. Or do away with traditions altogether. I admit to being caught in the trap of feeling down again this year.

Most of it comes from the situation with my younger son. The whole thing has been exacerbated by having this party. It was a risk I knew existed way back in the spring when I began the planning of it. I thought that I could nip it from the beginning when my dear, well-meaning aunt mentioned how wonderful it would be to see this particular son again. I told her that would not happen. As much as I love him, I will not invite someone who threatens me with physical harm to come to my home. Now, one of my cousins wants to know how to contact my son, and I don't want to answer. I think I will confront it head-on and tell them the truth.

That part was all written two weeks ago, when I was still feeling spurned and fragile. I've had time to readjust myself and get over it, but I am really tired of Christmas, and it's not even here yet. It seems to go on forever nowadays, with so many families split apart by divorce or mere extension. I've already attended two additional parties since the one with my family: my old buddies from Yorktown gave one, which was lowkey by comparison to the big family shindigs, and the SO's family gathering, which happened at his brother's house. I found myself, about halfway through the last one, wishing to just be home watching football, or something as mundane.

I like my everyday life. It satisfies me. I don't need a holiday to remind me of how good things are for me. I'm grateful every day. We are to have one more minor gathering on Christmas eve during the day. Then that night, we have decided to head off to the movie, just the two of us, to see "True Grit." The current version is supposed to more closely resemble the TRUE GRIT book than did the one back yonder starring John Wayne, basically, as John Wayne. Never was a fan. Still am not fond of one-note actors. We will head for the mountains next Tuesday. Yea! Can't wait.

Onward ....

Well, Really ....

OK, I have realized after rereading the last post, that I use the word 'really' way too much. I'm going to work on that. It's easy to get into bad habits with language. Not as easy to get out of them.

Tomorrow my son and his partner, and my brother will arrive for the big family party on Saturday. Some of the ones who live far away have backed out. I don't blame them. The weather is foul in the parts of the country where they would be coming from, and I would hate for somebody I care about to get hurt trying to get here. We will miss them, but so be it. I'm starting to get excited now about seeing everybody. Not that I wasn't excited before, but I faced a lot of 'have-tos' this week and I needed to get through them all. Just about done with the last thing, cleaning the house, and I will be ready for company by noon tomorrow when they begin to arrive.

My dear SO has been so helpful and patient with me. He's come now to understand the frenzy I get into when I've got this stuff going on, people coming to visit, wanting everything to be perfect. I am trying not to be quite so uptight but I'm not sure I'm doing a great job of it.

On a lighter note: I went to the pet store earlier this week to get some replacement fish for the aquarium. My pleco had suddenly died, although he was never a particularly healthy one compared to others I've had in the past. He wasn't growing for one thing, and plecos are notorious growers! While I was there I got a few danios to round out the tank. Had lots of room for more fish. These are kind of lime-yellow and very active. Anyway, once I got them home, the dog discovered them. She had never paid a bit of attention to the tank before, but all day long she sat in front of it, just staring in fascination. Problem was the spot where she laid blocked the way for the kitty to go upstairs to his food bowl and litter box, so after several tolerant hours, he finally had enough of her there, and ran at her all puffed up and hissy. It always scares her when he does that, so she moved. But she continued later to stare at the "swimming lizards" in the tank. It was kind of cute. Today, she's back to ignoring the fish.

We moved the desk from the SO's old place out to the guest room across the garage. As soon as this week is through, I'm moving some of my work from upstairs out there, like the endless novel, for one thing. After having read my friend's manuscript, I'm gassed up about writing again.

Onward .....

The Coast, The Holidays, The Mountains

Waiting on a norther this morning. It was supposed to have arrived last night around midnight, but here it is, 7:00 am and it hasn't got here yet.

We went down to the Coast on Friday, just spent one night, but we went over to our favorite eating place, sat out on the back patio, had raw oysters and shrimp nachos, a few beers, and watched the pier lights play on the calm bay water. Reflections rippled as the sun went down. There's a part of me that really loathes the thought of giving that up, but we have made up our minds to do it, and sort of spread the word that our place was for sale if there were any interested parties around. We payed a visit to the people who bought the other trailer down there. They seem thrilled with their bargain and have really moved in well, made friends. They're the type who will participate in all the community activities that we never did.

Read DOWN RIVER by John Hart. He's a good writer, and there were some parts of this book I really liked, but I think I'm just not really a great mystery reader. This was a second book with this main character, and maybe I should have read the first one, but I really had a hard time finding a character I really liked. My SO, however, accused me of being hypercritical and unable to enjoy a work of fiction. He's partly right. Anyway, he obviously liked the book more than I did. Maybe it's written for a male reader, I don't know. I swear, I just don't think I'll ever have my finger on the pulse of what's a bestseller and what's not.

On the other hand, I did enjoy the silly movie we watched last night, "Prince of Persia, the Sands of Time." It was outlandish, but I had tried once to play the video game, so I saw the cleverness of how they had incorporated the various levels and obstacles into the storyline. Still, it was just another movie made for 14-year-old boys. That's simply how it is nowadays.

We cleaned up the garage and hung the outside Christmas lights. Today we will do the tree. I've already been busy all week getting the house ready for the big party next Saturday. What seemed like a great idea last May is now almost overwhelming me. I have no idea where we're going to PUT 33 people in this house. A friend is loaning me two card tables. Without them, I can seat at most 16 to a table, or 22 total. About 8 or 9 of the 33 will be kids, which has pretty much knocked my SO off his beam. Neither of us is really big on kids, but what do you do -- say No Kids. Of course not. And since these are all my cousins, I think I'll feel differently about this particular bunch of kids. My SO only says he's anxious to meet my brother, but hopefully he will enjoy himself as best he can in this kind of loaded situation. Maybe I shouldn't have put him through all this. But as he has himself said, I've "suffered through" many family gatherings of his, both here and at other places. Truth is, though, it hasn't been suffering for me. I enjoy socializing more than he does.

We have decided to go to the mountains right after Christmas. Our original intention was to spend New Year's at the Coast one last time, but we are both champing at the bit to get back to the cabin. And his granddaughter and her boyfriend are going to join us there. They won't to go skiing. Ah, to be that young ....

Onward.