Giving Myself Away

For the past two years, I've been giving away my time to the county where I live, working as the Elections Administrator. When I was hired, I was told it was a part time job, three days a week, more around elections. Foolishly I thought it would allow me plenty of time to write while earning bill-paying money at the same time. Oh, how naive I was! For two years I haven't written a word. Not even here on this blog.

At first, I was learning the job, or trying to. And that learning process just went on and on and on. After about 15 months, the fog finally began to clear and I felt like I knew the job fairly well. And it has been a complicated job, a test of my endurance, not to mention stress-filled. It turned out to be one of those jobs where every day was different, where you had ten balls in the air while you tried to jungle one or two of them. It was presented as a part time job to me by people who had no idea what all was involved, and for 27 months I have tried like hell to make it a part time job. But on May 19th, I gave the county judge my resignation, told him he needed to hire someone full-time, someone younger, someone who is looking for a career, because there is a lot of schooling, and certifications that a person can get if they are making it a career. But as for me, I'm done, and I can see my freedom.

When I gave my notice, I told the judge that I would stay until they found my replacement, or until the end of this budget year, which ends on September 30th. After over a month, the job listing was finally posted online, in the newspapers, etc. and a few -- damned few -- applicants have started interviewing. I have been tasked with holding the first screening interviews. So far, no bright stars have appeared. And for someone who wants a career, this is a good job, one of the better jobs around here. It has insurance benefits and a retirement program, and a good working environment. Part of me knows that I was lucky to find the job, but the other part of me resented the time it took from my life, at this time in my life, and I have already had a career or two, or three, and was not looking for another. I have one career, one calling, that has been neglected for far too long, and I'm raring the get back to it.

Writing….. have I been out of the fray too long? Maybe so. The writing industry has certainly undergone a major transformation, due primarily to internet publishing, but I personally think that's a good thing. It needed transforming. I have a lot to learn yet about all that. My four old novels continue to earn money because of the internet, and I'm grateful for that. The first thing I want to do is finally finish "The Endless Novel." I have reread it and am pleased, more or less, with how much is there. It needs some bending and blocking and propping up. I've always thought of novel writing as construction -- literally -- building a story scene by scene, bit of dialog by bit, carving away any fluff, sculpting what is leftover. Sometimes it takes getting away from it for a while to be able to see it as a whole, and I've sure been away for a long while. So it ought to be completely clear to me, right? By now?

The next thing I want to do is try my hand at article writing. I've done a little, but I want to do a whole lot more of it. And that means having to learn about that, too. I've got so many unfinished projects in my file cabinet and on my computers. If I work as hard at writing and finishing some of these projects, as I have worked at the Elections Administrator job, I should make a lot of progress. That's my goal.

Meanwhile, a few life changes have transpired in the last two years. The house in the mountains finally sold. I took a big loss on it but cut my losses at the same time. And then we bought a weekend cottage on the coast, only an hour and a half away so that we can go there a lot more often. Wayne and I are still together, still in love, after 9 years now. And we have a new addition to our family -- Sam, the orange tabby I found outside the Elections Office 22 months ago. He was a baby then. Mostly he's a laugh-riot, but at other times I want to strangle him, like when he turned over the flat-screen television at the cottage last weekend and broke it irreparably. Oh, but we love him anyway. And Lulu is still with us, older and slower. We cherish every day we have her now. She's been a loyal companion, most dear and easily the most intelligent pet I've ever known.

And so I'm back, and hope that anybody who once read this blog with any regularity will take it back up along with me. I still have lots of things to tell you. I will miss the money I was making while I was away, but not much else. Life's good.

Onward…..

Making New Memories, What?

The Christmas blues are upon me. It's starting to affect my every day life. We have had way WAY too much of it this year, too many houseguests, too many gatherings, just too much period. I'm ready for life to get back to normal, calmer, less stress, less cooking, less have-tos, less. We have one more thing, and then it's over. I'll be taking down all the decorations probably by Christmas Day night.

And isn't it just pitiful that it isn't even officially Christmas yet and I already feel this way? What has happened to us that we make ourselves insane with all this STUFF that is supposed to be fun? Part of the trouble, I think, is this "memory" thing we humans have in our brains. I want to make new memories, but it's hard to let go of the old memories, and I still feel all the old demands even though they really aren't there anymore. Unless I make them be there, which I have a habit of doing. More and more, I think ignoring the holidays sounds like a good idea. Or at the very least, doing something COMPLETELY different, like booking a cruise, or taking a road trip. Wouldn't it be nice to spend Christmas in a B&B somewhere like Ireland, where the traditions are their own, and where we would be forced to think outside the box, as they say? Next year, we plan to go to the cabin early and spend Christmas there. I think that sounds wonderful.

The children's book I wrote earlier this year has come back form-rejected from yet another publisher. Guess it isn't as outstanding and original as I thought. Also guess credentials don't mean much. I'm surprised by the form rejections. I'm also surprised by how long it takes to get a response. Publishing has certainly changed since the 90s. If I had someone who could illustrate the book, I swear, I would self-publish the damned thing.

This little book has been a sort of tipping my toe in, testing the water again. And I don't like the chill I'm feeling. It doesn't do much to make me want to finish the endless novel, that's for sure. Yet, I have been contacted by two readers in the past month who had just read one of my books and wanted to get in touch. Both felt moved enough to write to me, and that just shows me that the kind of books I have written and would like to write again, are not out of style. I think it's the publisher's who get it wrong, but then, I've had that opinion for a long long time.

Onward .....

Other Writer's Work

A friend of mine asked me to read a manuscript he is having trouble selling. I got it FedEx on Saturday but didn't start reading it until today. I'm enjoying it, it's good work, but it's really making me want to work on my novel now. And I find myself in a funk this evening about it. It's just so hard to set everything else aside, and I don't know why. I used to not have this trouble. Anyway ....

Had a massage this morning -- very mediocre, but more tales for my article on getting massages, finding a good therapist. This one definitely was not good and I won't be going back there. Tonight my muscles are all tight and I got in the jacuzzi. Pretty sorry excuse for a jacuzzi, too. I had such a good one in my transition house. This one just cannot compare. Of course, it's also twenty years older, and was built for people who are flat as boards. The jets, I am not kidding, are no more than 3 inches off the bottom of the tub. Plus there are only four of them. You have to contort to get the achy parts under the stream of water. It just is hardly worth it. But it's wet outside, drizzly, has been that way for three days now, and the hot tub needs draining. The last time we got in it, it was like sitting in milk.

So I'm in a sort of pissy mood and can't seem to bring myself out of it. Really wish we could go back to the mountains. I just hate that we have to wait for two whole months. Sigh!

Onward .....

Grilled Ling and Article Writing

The SO's granddaughter and her boyfriend stopped by here this past Saturday. He is a marine biologist and they had been deep sea fishing over Spring Break. He caught a big ling and had frozen steaks in their car. He gave us some, much to the dismay of my SO, who believed that he did not like grilled fish of any kind, no way, no how.

Well, we thawed the fish out and I made a marinade of garlic, butter, fresh-squeezed lemon, and coarse-ground pepper. SO built a fire in our barrel pit, and cooked the steaks for 10 minutes on each side. They were thick steaks, maybe two inches thick. While they were grilling, I came in and made dilled carrots and steamed some broccoli, fixed garlic bread and poured two glasses of a tart Australian white wine. It was an absolutely delicious meal. The fish was delectable, firm and white, mild-flavored, and just excellent. My SO has changed his mind entirely about grilled fish, and is already planning ways he will adjust his fire the next time we try it. I'm sure ling from a fish market would not be as fresh tasting as this was, but we know of several fish markets on the Coast where we spend a lot of weekends, and we'll try to find some more ling cod when we're down there next.

Today, it was a bluebird day. Aside from cooking out, we also drained and cleaned the hot tub. While it was draining, I stepped up some of the veggies in the greenhouse. I'm focused on growing flowers now and would really like to get the vegetables out of there. We paid a visit to our friend who had open-heart surgery, and I took three tomato plants to him. I had just put them in 1-gallon containers so he shouldn't have to DO anything to them for a few weeks. He's always had a large garden, and last summer kept us in more peppers and cherry tomatoes than we were able to eat. Hopefully, he can container farm these plants I took today, and they'll provide him with a bounty and with something to keep him occupied that doesn't require any physical exertion.

My SO will be leaving for a few days on Sunday, and I'm already feeling the need for a lot of together time before he goes. I'll be joining him after a few days, but the few we'll be apart will be lonely ones. But I've been working on an article I hope to find a home for about backyard greenhouses and I'll use the apart time to whip it into shape. Need to write a compelling query, too. I have an idea of where I'm going to submit it, and they're very specific in their guidelines about querying.

Onward ....