Back in Paradise

So much has happened, or seems to have happened, since the last time I posted here. We did list the house in Texas, and before we left, it had already been shown three times. Since then, its been shown several more times, and our real estate agent believes an offer is just around the corner. I have such mixed feelings but know that it’s the right thing to do financially. I will miss my great big house, with all its storage and that huge kitchen, gee! I will probably never have such a nice place again.

But then we arrived here, in the mountains, on Sunday and my mood, my sense of purpose, just completely changed. I stepped out of the car at the post office in the valley, just to see if we had any mail while we were gone. The fresh, light air hit me, wrapped me in good feeling. A little breeze was billowing. Everything has greened up since we were here, a big change in just a little over two weeks. It seems like where I belong.

The cat and the dog both got lively in the car as we headed across the valley and up the mountain. When we turned down our little tree-lined lane, the cat was bobbing his head, trying to see around the dog, who was galloping about the car. I rolled the windows down so they could both feel the cool air, too. By the time we pulled into our driveway, all three of us were excited. 

The dog bounded out, remembering her squirrels, and immediately began to hunt for them. The cat was meowing as I carried him in his taxi up to the backdoor. As soon as I let him out, he went in search of his water bowl and his litter box. I had to hustle to get things arranged for him and then he went to the front door, wanting out on his deck. It did me good to see him so animated. He’s been declining so steadily since the beginning of the month. I believe he is happier here where he is able to go outside for long periods of time.

I feel so much more relaxed here, so much more myself. Away from the distractions and disasters. Our friends here began to welcome us back “home” as they walked by with their dogs or were just out walking. It doesn’t quite feel like home yet, but I think it will come to more as we are able to bring our things from Texas and surround ourselves with them. 

We went to a town hall meeting in the community center last night. The presentation was on fire evacuation. There are so many things to learn about living in the mountains. Afterwards, we walked over to the lodge restaurant and sat with friends out on the patio, had a Blue Moon, then dinner, visited. We like everybody here, and there’s no pressure attached. If we want to socialize, the opportunity is there. If we don’t want to, or are not in the mood to, then there’s no judgment either. We’ve got tickets for a concert on the 26th, with a larger group, for dinner and then to the city and the university auditorium for the concert -- “Music From Anglefire.” We talked about it last night and all seem eager for the day to arrive.

Speaking of arrivals -- my aunt is here. She’s borrowing a cabin from a friend of hers in the next county, and will join up with us after today. My SO has business in Albuquerque and I’m going with him. We want to look at hot tubs after his appointment and learn how they fare through the winters here. My aunt is definitely coming to stay with us this weekend. The big annual picnic is Saturday and I’ve invited her to come. She sounded excited. It would be great if we could talk her into buying a place over here -- she loves it so much in New Mexico, once owned a cabin in the area where she’s staying now. There’s a very reasonable cabin for sale just up the mountain from us. I doubt it will happen but I intend to tell her about it anyhow.

I will try to find more time now that we’re back here and settled in, to blog. I have things I’ve been thinking about and would like to write about them, so I shall be back soon.

Onward ....

Leaving the Mountains

Night before we're leaving to return to Texas. It's been so nice and cool here, highs in the upper 70s, lows in the 50s. We've been sitting outside in the mornings with fleece and jackets on -- heavenly. And yes, I do know how lucky we are.

Took the dog for a walk with a neighbor who was also walking her dog this evening. We talked about the area and she said she will probably be putting her house on the market in about a year. Then she said she didn't know where she would move because she loves it here, loves the mountains, the scenery. So I asked why she would want to move, then, if she loves it so much? I can't come to terms with that.

We're only going to be gone for a bit over 2 weeks, but it feels like a lifetime. Which is one more reason -- or one more indication -- that the time is now to sell the Buffalo Wallow. It will be hard to do. We both love the place, and it holds so many memories of dreams we shared when we moved in there. But dreams change, and so do financial situations. It feels like the right thing to do, financially, to sell the Buffalo Wallow and move here to the mountains full time. I have just been having trouble reconciling myself to living in a smaller -- much smaller -- place. I will have to get rid of loads of old things that have meant so much to me in the past. But I still keep reminding myself that stuff is just stuff and doesn't contribute one iota to a person's level of happiness. Why is this such a hard thing to convince myself of -- has it only to do with that nest-building instinct that most women seem to have? Oh well ..... time to move on.

Part of me will be happy to divest myself of all these leavings. That's what I think of a large part of it -- leavings from another life. People leave things to you and then you're sort of stuck with it all until you can justify yourself to the fact that you have just been chosen to be the one to figure out what the hell to do with these leavings. Antique stores are full of leavings. I'm about to add a bunch more to their inventory.

On another, much more depressing note, the cat has really declined in the last couple of days. We took him to the vet this morning and I'm hoping he can rally one more time -- at least long enough to get him comfortably back to Texas. But for some reason this time does not feeling as positive as other times, and I am just hoping now that he can make it home. I have cried buckets and part of me would like a denouement to this phase. Although, my SO keeps reminding me that we have had him, and been able to enjoy him, far longer than we thought in the beginning. And he has, I truly feel, enjoyed this trip to the mountains. Up until two days ago, he was playing with his toys, chasing the birds on the deck.

For now, I'm taking one day at a time. With high hopes. Still trying to be a realist.

Onward ....

Notable Books, According to Me

Awoke this morning feeling good about life, about living in a place where the air is sweet and fresh, where you need a jacket to sit outside in July to drink your coffee, where the main sounds are the crows cacking and the tickle of squirrels climbing up the barky pine trees. Yes, this house is small, but it has a beautiful ceiling. It rained yesterday. The roof leaked a little over in the corner by the television. It's the first real rain we've had since we bought the place. I found a flashlight to check for other possible leaks, ran the spotlight up and down the ceiling beams. I found a lot of cobwebs, but no other wet places.

I've seen ceilings before that this one is patterned after -- on old adobe porches primarily. Long beams spaced about three feet apart, with planks adjoining in a perpendicular fashion. The boards on the ceiling here are knotty pine and smooth, with rougher beams that are actually supportive and not just decorative. These beams extend through the exterior wall and out to the edge of the porch overhang. On the porch the beams are painted, but inside they have been left natural to darken with age. Now, that the paneled walls inside have all been painted a light off-white, the beauty of the ceiling really strikes out. And now that I have inspected them with a flashlight, the ceiling has also been de-cobwebbed.

The atmosphere here is really conducive to reading and I have been getting a lot of that done. Don't know why I seem to have no time for reading when I'm at home in Texas. I downloaded some books to my Kindle before we left Texas. Tiger, Tiger by Margaux Fragnoso is the first one I read. It's about a woman's relationship with a pedophile, and is particularly timely with the Jaycee Dugard story so much in the news right now. It was one of those books that hangs with you, disturbs you and makes you try to rationalize. Also downloaded was Remember Ben Clayton by my friend Stephen Harrigan. Stephen is another writer who hales from Corpus Christi, which is our only real connection. He's a wonderful writer and this novel is his best to date. I'm finding it fresh and factual, particularly since it's dealing with a time period I researched considerably for Right From Wrong, and his characters are lively and real. I'm not completely finished with it, and plan to say more about it later.

One thing I have found with all this reading is how easy to handle and convenient the Kindle is. It doesn't tire my hands out the way a real book does, and mine has a little light attached to the cover, so I can read in the dark, which I have been doing for a while every night before I go to sleep. The one thing that is not handy about the Kindle, though, is that it is easy to lose your place, and you never know what page you're on at any given time. There's a bookmark, but it isn't always easy to get back to the mark if you happen to accidentally hit the paging button a few times. The other thing you miss out on with a Kindle, is photographs that might be inside the actual book.

This is the main reason I bought from Barnes & Noble online, with a birthday gift certificate, a book called River of Traps by William DeBuys & Alex Harris. It's about these two men's years living in the New Mexico mountains in the shadow of the Truchas Peaks, and an old Hispanic man who befriended them. Harris is the photographer and there are some lovely full-page black-and-whites inside, and the descriptions and history of the area are beautifully told by DeBuys. The old man, Jacobo, is wise and witty and so familiar to me of similar men I had friendships with during my years of living and working in San Antonio.

Finally, there's a bookmobile that comes to our village once a month from up at Cimarron, which is about halfway between here and Raton. In June, I got a card and checked out two books, one of which turned out to be a lovely, informative treatment of The Mountains of New Mexico by Robert Julyan. The author has visited each of the mountains he discusses, gives so much information about the geography and how the land was formed, that even though I had originally intended to only peruse it for mountains in our area, I ended up reading the entire book cover to cover, and took it with us when we visited the Capulin Volcano when the boys were here. I'm one of those people who needs to know where I am in the world, in a much more detailed way than just by giving an address or distance from some larger town. I still feel a lot of mystery around me here, and won't quit reading until I think I understand this place, its people, its present and its past.

Meanwhile, it's time to take a shower and get this day started. It's nearly noon and I've done nothing but read, drink my coffee, and listen to the birds in the trees.

Onward ....

Before We Move; the Mountains Again

And so, before we make a big move, it's probably a good idea to spend more time up here in the mountains. If for no other reason, than to experience the changing weather.

We got here on Tuesday, which happened to be my birthday. The paint job in the front room was a pleasant surprise. It really does brightened things. I don't feel like I'm in such a cave anymore. A handy man came yesterday and spent the entire day, doing odd jobs. He hung the new chandelier and it completely changed the way the dining area looks. I'm getting happier with the interior by the minute. I like the curtains I made, too, although I don't think my SO does much. They cost me about $7 and my labor, about an hour and a half at the sewing machine. We hung the new blind in the laundry room. It's a cerulean color, a cellular blind but one that opens so it's possible to still look outside but should keep that room warmer in winter. It cost more than $400 but I won't go into that.

It's hot here. I'm not happy about that. The big front room is especially hot. We're having the handy man back next week to install some ceiling fans. I can't sleep when I'm hot and I'm kind of wary of leaving windows open at night since it's bear season. We don't have any a/c. Nobody up here does. Right now, we need it during the day. It got up to 88 yesterday afternoon. I don't like to sweat. In fact, it's hard to sweat with only 5% humidity. But it's still better than being back in Texas where heat indices yesterday were between 107 and 109 degrees. If it would only rain a little I think it would cool things off. Everywhere, really.

We came in two cars. I wasn't wild about that, but we had too much to haul and I wanted my car here to pick up my son and his partner from the Albuquerque airport in two weeks. Plus, my SO will be working next week, and the vehicle we've left here has no working a/c. I, at least, want to be cool in the car. I brought the cat with me. I think the trip was hard on him. His kidneys are functioning poorly and he wet the carrier several times, which is not like him at all. But I anticipated this and put piddle pads under him and carried extras. He did finally start drinking water in his carrier while we were on the road. That's a first. He's doing as well as can be expected. I'm happy to have him with us. And we have our little kitty hospice setup in the living room here just as we had back in Texas.

Two days before we left the dog was bit again by a large copperhead. It happened late on Saturday, and this time she was very sick. During the night she began to go into shock, and I had to cover her with a blanket and lie in the floor with her until her shaking stopped. It was scary and upsetting for both of us, and I vow the next time to take her to a vet no matter what time of day it happens. Fingers crossed that there will be no next time.

So, here we are again. I will try to do better with this blog.

Onward ....

June Budding

First day of June. I hope this is a better month. It's hot as hell outside, and I can't wait to get back to the mountains. Wanting to spend my birthday there this year. Actually, more and more, I'm wanting to move there permanently. The painter has been there since we left, and I'm anxious to see how it turned out. Little apprehensive about the color I chose for above the fireplace. I was attempting to match or blend with the bricks, and I'm worried it could be too garish or dark. Fingers crossed.

Last night I talked to a carpenter about some of the things I want to do next up there. He seemed nice and competent. He came to me recommended by the lady who cat-sat for me back in January. I liked her, and trust that since she runs the recycle center she knows just about everyone in the area. We sure don't. And there is a tendency for people to hear where the cabin is and then to want to stick it to us on price. It does no good to explain that ours is one of the smallest and oldest houses in the development.

Emailed with the real estate agent friend who helped me with the last three houses. Without looking at all the improvements we have made to this house in Texas, which she also sold to me, she quoted a figure she thought we could get if we sold right now. It was a good price, not as high as I hoped, but certainly a good bit more than I paid. With the economy still in a general slump, even with the oil/gas boom going on locally, I would be happy with that price. I could pay off the loan here and the loan in New Mexico, get totally out of debt, and still have money leftover for remodeling the kitchen up there. Certainly is tempting. The only holdup is the fact that I would be moving 800+ miles from my dad.

Meanwhile, we continue to nursemaid the kitty. The last prednisone shot gave him a real boost, but it does seem to be wearing off somewhat. I'm concerned about taking him with us on the long long car trip, but I don't know what else we can do. He sleeps a lot, and is distant, but still engaged and active.

There's an unusual phenomenon taking place with him and I don't know if it's typical or not with an animal who is dealing with a terminal disease like lymphoma. He is exhibiting regressive behavior, doing things he has not done since he was a youngster. He's catching lizards and grasshoppers, spending his naptimes lying on sheets of newspaper, asking to go outside, and then doing his latrine business out there. All of these are habits that have long been stowed away since he moved inside the house, but that have obviously remained in his psyche.

It's probably some comfort to him to fall back on old ways. I don't know. I do know that he has pulled away from me, no longer wants to cuddle much or have his head petted or any of the lovey-dovey things we have done with each other for years. My friend, who used to work for a vet, thinks it's him weaning me away. Interesting idea, but I don't think I buy it. I don't believe that animals have the same sort of thought-processes humans do. But there could be something to the idea of our bond breaking down because of the disease. I think his brain has been affected somewhat. I'm still touched by certain moments, but mostly saddened by the loss of closeness. Still, I will continue to help him all I can, through this last stage of his life.

Onward ....

Mountain Wind

We have been back at the cabin in the New Mexico mountains for a week. Every single day, except for last Saturday, has been windy. The people that live here full time say this has been an unusually windy year so far. And it's dry here -- even drier than back in Texas. Last summer, the first time we came to this valley, it was green and lush. The valley now has the barest bit of green grass, and that is because two days before we arrived, there was a 13-inch snowfall.

When a front is moving through, the wind is continuous and can get fierce. Two days ago, wind gusts were clocked at 60 mph. Most of it, though, seems to stay in the treetops. And the wind generally comes in waves. It's a phenomenon called mountain or local wind. The air coming from the prairie, or from the desert, depending on the direction it is moving, collides with the mountains, and the air coming behind the initial blast, puts on pressure on, creating an upward column of air or wind. The pressure is so great that it forces the air well past the peak of the mountains, into the upper atmosphere where it is flattened by colder air, and eventually collapses over the top of the mountain. This makes the rush of wind that we hear when we sit out on our deck. It starts in the treetops, a sort of roar of wind, until it blasts into our area of the valley. Blows like hell for a few minutes, then calms completely once again, until the next buildup of air collapses down over the mountain peaks. It's quite an interesting experience. Like waves of wind, and that's what we've started calling it -- wind waves.

If the oncoming air is off the prairie from the direction of Texas, then it's possible that the wind will only blow through the treetops, and will miss us down on the ground completely. If it's coming from the desert, from the direction of Santa Fe, it roars down the valley until it finds us, and rattles the trees, blows the bird feeders, and gongs the wind chime. I like the sound of these waves. And if I'm sitting inside, wind whistles down the chimney and through the flue.

Every time we come for a long stay, I love it here more and more. We are in paradise on Earth. Great neighbors. I really wish we could stay longer, and maybe next trip we will.

Onward ....

Catching Up With the New Year

What a difference a few weeks and a new year can make. I realized this as I read my last post, oh so long ago, it seems.

We have been at the cabin in New Mexico for three weeks now, and have just got hooked up with internet service. I had bought a device to plug into the USB port on my laptop to pick up broadband through the cell signal, which is strong in our valley. But alas, the cell towers were not compatible and that effort flopped miserably. I got a refund at least. So, now we are back to receiving our internet service through satellite, same as back in Texas. Well, at least it works.

The day we arrived here, the 29th of December, we drove into the driveway at the exact same time as a blizzard was arriving. I was upset by it mostly because we were supposed to have a washer and dryer delivered the next day, and I was afraid that wouldn't happen with the bad weather. But the delivery boys braved the mountain and the snow, which was falling hardest just as they got here. Despite the bad weather, they completed the installation, hauled off the old dead machines, and kept their good sense of humor through it all. The people here are all very accommodating and pleasant, we are finding. Might have something to do with living in such a beautiful place.

However, New Year's Eve was pretty miserable. The wind was howling, snow all over the place. We felt cabin-bound, and both of our tempers flared for a moment. I was cold all that day. We did venture down to the restaurant for supper that night, a trip that should take about 3 minutes took 20 because of the slick, snowy road and strong wind. They said we had gusts up to 60 mph that day. Which sent the chill factor plummeting to minus 20, tough conditions for two old South Texas transplants. Hell, I was 14 years old before I ever saw snow for the first time, and have only experienced it down there three times in my whole life. Anyway, we had a good meal, met some more neighbors, had cocktails, and enjoyed the rest of the night.

Next morning we installed our new 42 inch flat screen TV that we had given each other for Christmas. We even get some of the networks this time, although they come to us out of San Francisco -- an odd thing, and we have to keep remembering about the time difference. Jay Leno doesn't come on until 11:30, much to the SO's chagrin. That evening, I made a big meal of ham and black-eyed peas, and we drank the champagne that we hadn't been in the mood for the night before. Tasted good. The wind had quit howling. Our moods had improved. We also discovered the blower on the fireplace, which helps greatly to keep this cabin warm. It's a constant job, tending that fire though. You have to add logs at least two times per hour, and poke them around in between additions. My SO seems not to tire of it, thank god. And we have a good fireplace here, unlike the one in Texas which smokes and doesn't draw properly.

A few days later, the SO's granddaughter and her boyfriend arrived -- our first house guests. They came to ski, and it kept them busy for most of the five days that they were here. One day, we did take them sightseeing around this part of the Sangre de Cristos. We took lots of pictures and enjoyed the day. The place got quiet again after they left.

We've had another snow and more cold weather since then. Was 3 degrees  yesterday morning when we awoke. But somehow, we've acclimated now and it doesn't bother us as much. Or me as much, I should say. I don't think my SO was ever bothered as much as I was, sun bunny that I have always been. It's weird, though, how 20 degrees here feels so much warmer than 20 degrees would feel at home. Humidity can't be the whole of it, because the humidity has been as high as 80 percent here since the first of the year. It just must have to do with the air, that's all I can think of to explain it. The air is just cleaner and fresh, thinner, too.

Anyway, my SO left for Denver this morning, and I will join him tomorrow. I'm loathe to leave the cabin, and I really don't care for Denver much, or Colorado for that matter. I'm one of the only people I know who thinks Colorado is highly overrated. Sorry, to any of my Colorado friends who might read this. But seriously, most of you don't mind stating your contempt for Texas, do you? Of course, I do still love my native state, even though I seem to have, oddly, also fallen hard for New Mexico.

So, I will try to do better about writing here in the future. I have things to share that I haven't touched on this time -- mostly about my Christmas Kindle and how it has inspired me to do certain things. But for now --

Onward ....

Final Commitment

What a week this is going to be! It started right off crazy busy with my cousins coming for lunch on the same day my SO left for NM. I will follow him later this week. I had a dentist appointment yesterday that was made clear back in January, and my dentist happens to be in Austin. So I got in a half-packed car and flew up there and back yesterday, stopping only long enough to run into PetSmart and Penney's. When I got back home, at 6:30 in the evening, there was an email with the subject header of FINAL COMMITMENT. Sounds so ominous. But what it means, in a nutshell, is WE GOT THE HOUSE!
It's been so nerve wracking, seeing that email was a little anti-climatic. But now I feel comfortable enough to tell the world.

Today I have to finish packing the car, go to the bank to ease the wire transfer along, the post office, and then to a doctor's appointment this afternoon that I have also had since last October. I'm so scattered, I've been making lists all over the place, then misplacing those. I've already misplaced the gate opener. I really miss my sweetheart and my dog. And today! Today, is the 3-year anniversary of our first date. It seems so much longer ago than that, and now we've made this FINAL COMMITMENT on a house in the mountains.

People who know seem excited for us. All except for Daddy that is. I think he's depressed about the whole idea of us being gone even more than we are already. And as I've stated here before, Daddy is a big dilemma. I think that he's beginning to get really feeble, and he's depressed about it, maybe thinks I should be tending to him on a daily basis. Some women would be doing that, I know a few who would, but I'm not that sort of woman. As selfish as it seems, I feel I have already given up a huge portion of my life for others, have basically put my life on hold for most of the last 40 years, and I'm just not willing to continue pushing the hold button. I don't know how many more years are left. At my age, my mother had just 7 years left. I wonder if she had known that when she was 57, what all would she have done differently. I feel, have always felt, that she died completely unfulfilled. And the other truth is, Daddy has had choices in all of this, too. It's his choice to live so isolated, so cut off from all the people since Mother died who reached out to him and tried to have a relationship with him. He rejected everybody, didn't want to have to make the effort to have a social life, and now he is so alone. But it was a decision he made all by himself, despite everyone's efforts.

And that brings me to another thought -- that we so often do these things to ourselves -- by making poor choices, for all sorts of different reasons. This house in the mountains, this man I am in love with, the way we live, things we do, I feel I am fully engaged in all of these things. I no longer feel when I wake up in the morning that I'm going through the motions, like some automaton. That's not to say all those earlier years were bad ones, they certainly were not. I have many many good memories, and I feel great fondness and love for my ex. It had a bad ending, but lots of stories do, that's just life. But I made choice that were not always good for me, I feel that so much of that time was spent just half-living, waiting for some mysterious better day that would come later, and those are mistakes I'm trying not to repeat now.

It's risky, buying this house. The economy is still struggling, especially the real estate market. Of course, that shakiness is what made buying this place nearly irresistible. We paid way under the tax appraisal, and way under the market value in the area. The house needs lots of work, and I'm going to have to control this impatient urge I have to get it perfect right NOW! But if some things should go south financially, for either one of us, it would be hard to sell either of these two houses quickly if we had to do that. We have made the difficult decision to put the place at the Coast up for sale right after the New Year. We've had so many good times down there, memorable times, but we're in a different place now, and this last year we haven't gone down there enough, or enjoyed ourselves there as much, so it's time to let it go.

And now I need to get back to my crazy busy day, so I can be ready to join my SO later this week to close on our house. I'll post a picture of it when we have the hot key in our hands. Things can, as I well know, always go wrong, so I'll reserve pictures for later.

Onward ....

Temporarily Dissatisfied-- Oh, It's This Heat!

Just ended another hot, hot weekend down at the Coast. It's become drudgery for me to even go down there. I don't know if it was those two weeks in the mountains or what, but suddenly I'm just longing for a cooler place to live in the summer. We've had such fun down at the Coast before -- what has caused all this dissatisfaction? It's not just me who is feeling this either. My SO is also longing for a mountain place, although I think we have different ideas about what we want there. His standards are lower than mine are at the moment, and I really do believe I need to lower mine as well. It's always been hard for me to settle for less.

And yet, I still really love our place here. It was such a relief to come home as it always is. Both animals also love it so much here. They were both visibly delighted when we walked in the door. I'm tempted to initiate conversation with my SO about selling the Coast place but I don't know what the reception to that will be. It was his before he met me, and I know he put a lot of time and effort into making it into what it is, but he also doesn't seem to get as much joy from it as before. It's been a year now since he had the boat out of the storage building.

However, that said, I wonder if this dissatisfaction we're both feeling isn't a temporary state, caused by heat stress, or whatever. Or wanderlust, maybe. We both have that. Once the temperatures come back to bearable, won't we just be happy here again and forget about going into debt on a new place? We have enough trouble trying to maintain this place and the Coast place as it is. Why add another "place" into the mix? Our so-called troubles could be so much worse. We have great life. Especially when you compare to things other people are dealing with.

Our good friends, the ones who joined us for the trip to New Mexico, have real trials, life-altering ones, that they're dealing with, and I have to always keep in mind how much worse things could be, and also how quickly basic situations can change. His health is deteriorating rapidly. I talked to her on the phone over the weekend, and the reason we haven't heard from them in a while is because he sank into such a deep depression she got worried and took him to the hospital. Apparently, he was feeling suicidal. They did some brain mapping, the results of which won't be in until tomorrow, and tweaked his anti-depressant meds little. She felt like he was doing better, but the stress she's under is taking its toll. I could hear it in her voice, and later that was confirmed by a mutual friend who ran into her at Subway, and reported that she looked frazzled and out of sorts. We're all worried about them, and have to keep their situation always in mind when we become dissatisfied with our own lives.

We're going to see my son and his partner this coming weekend. It's sneaked up on me a little too quickly. I have so many things to do before we leave, or before I can start getting excited. As always, I would be much more excited if we didn't have to FLY to get there. Just hate dealing with airlines nowadays. Hard to believe there was a time when I actually loved to fly, found it exciting and sophisticated. Simpler times, those.

Have to go with Daddy to the doctor this morning, and guess I should get my morning started.

Onward ....

Sweltering in Texas and a New Driveway

Damn it’s hot! We’ve been home from the mountains a little over a week and my internal thermometer has still not adjusted. More and more, I detest Texas summers. In fact, I wonder how I’ve stood them this many years. It seems to me that they’re getting hotter every year, even though I keep being reminded by people that this summer is so much cooler than last. But the difference between 98 degrees and 100 is so negligible it’s almost unnoticeable.

We made an offer on a house we found while we were up in New Mexico. We came home excited and nervous. I talked to the real estate agent on Friday and the people had decided not to sell, had pulled the house off the market. It was too good to be true anyway. Completely furnished. A doll house. They live in Florida and the man had had a heart attack last spring. His doctor told him to stay out of the mountains. I suppose they panicked and put their summer home up for sale. We fell in love with it, too, so I don’t blame them for having a change of heart. But the disappointment overwhelmed me for a few days.  Finally, my SO came to my rescue again, after getting a little miffed at the way I was acting. Disappointments like that have always affected my entire mood. But anyway, now  we’re back to perusing the internet, looking at other options. We really like that area and plan to revisit it again in September when we go back through there on the way to the SO’s Denver market.

A few  good things did come out of it, though. At least we found out our credit scores. And we know  we can get a loan. For some reason, it also made me get off my duff and get some things done around here that have needed doing. We had a construction company out to rebuild the road, or driveway. They came with a maintainer on Sunday, scraped the ground down, then brought in six loads of pea gravel. It’s a huge improvement, no more potholes to splash through. While the road crew  was here, we had them knock down the dirt pile that’s been by the fire-ring for two years growing weeds. That looks better as well. 

I’ve also scrubbed the marble shower stall in our bathroom until it gleams ... well, gleams as much as it’s capable of gleaming. It’s been scratched and scrubbed with too many aggressive cleansers in years past to truly gleam. The door leaks at the bottom and it’s caused the sheetrock on the wall between it and the jacuzzi to crumble and mold. I’m planning to call someone to come measure for a new glass shower door this week; the wall I will attempt to repair myself. Bought some dry wall patch and paint. It’s a small area. Once I get into it and see how much water damage there is, I may change my mind and try to find a handyman. The SO is not one. In fact, I think I know more about this sort of thing than he does, which is saying something since I know almost nothing. He can fix anything mechanical but really hates everything to do with construction or repairs of structure, if that makes sense. His father died when he was in his early 20s and I think that may have something to do with his lack of knowledge in this area. But there’s also a lack of interest. Daddy says he has no self-confidence about building or construction repair, and there’s probably some truth to that. Anyway, I’ve learned to tackle these tasks myself or they don’t get done without a fuss. I actually don't mind that kind of work, I just wish I knew more.

Meanwhile, the three little crepe myrtle at the end of the driveway seem to be thriving this year. I think they’ve finally put down deep roots and are ready to grow. They’ve been so busy surviving and rooting-in that they forgot to bloom. All over the countryside, the crepe myrtle have been spectacular because of the abundant spring rains. But these three skipped the bloom, and root growth is the only explanation I can come up with for it. There have been several times since we planted them that I thought they were dead, or dying, but they've hung on, with us hauling water down there to them when it didn’t rain. The effort has paid off. They will eventually, I believe now, make beautiful trees.

I do still love it here. But I will love it better when it cools off enough to get back outside and do some things. As it is right now, it’s all I can manage just to go out in the mornings and squirt around a little water. Come on autumn!

Onward ....

Mountain Valley and Grilled Salmon

I have fallen absolutely in love with the Pendaries Valley where we are staying. Hermit's Peak hovers at one end, and the entire valley floor is a big ranch owned by a Texas oilman who has relocated to Santa Fe. He has black angus cattle, lots of black angus cattle grazing in the green valley. On either side of the valley is what they call the Pendaries Village. There's the RV Park where we are, a store, a real estate office, and a row of townhouses and condos all of which back up into the Santa Fe Forest. You weave your way through all of this, and then cross the ranch, which is open range so cows might be out on the road. On the other side of the valley and up into the mountains is the housing subdivisions, the lodge and restaurant, and an 18-hole golf course, as well as a mountain stream meandering through it all. It is truly a little slice of paradise nestled in the mountains. Every evening we have sat outside until well after dark, listening to the silence. Tonight there's an orange slice of a moon, but for several days it has been pitch black after sundown.

There have also been thunder showers every afternoon. It reminds of me of when I lived in the Mississippi pine forest, the way the thunder comes rumbling down through the trees. Yesterday we had a bit of hail, large BB's. We have had the awning out, and we braved that storm with it out too, the four of us huddling under the cover. This morning our friends who had joined us here, left. We hated to see them go, but they were homesick. God knows why. It's been cool and crisp here at night, and dry and bearable in the day, unlike back in humid, hot, sweaty South Texas. But since we're alone tonight, we drove over to the restaurant and ate an exceptional meal. My grilled salmon with pesto and garlic mashed potatoes was excellent. The asparagus was crisp and lightly sea salted. We had drinks and watched the sun go down over the valley.

Today we looked at a couple of places that are for sale here. We adored one of them, but tonight sat outside talking ourselves out of going into debt right now for something so far from home. It is very tempting though. The deal is just almost unbelievable, because of the bad economy and the remoteness of this valley, but we need this deal to come around in five or so years, not right now. Self-denial is never easy, as the old song says.

We will be leaving day after tomorrow, and for once, I'm really not ready to go.

Onward ....

A Bee Hummingbird in the New Mexico Mountains

Last night, just at dusk, we saw a bee hummingbird. There's red penstemon growing wild all around us, and one of the flower heads was moving. An almost incandescent fluttering caught our attention. My SO said, "How small is the smallest hummingbird you've ever seen?" I thought at first we were watching a dragonfly. So I moved over to stand still among the penstemons to get a closer look. It took a while for the tiny bird to come back, but it finally did, and my gosh, it was the teensiest, no more than two inches, if that, with wingbeats so quick they were invisible.

We are in a beautiful place, in the Sangre de Cristo range of the Rockies in northeastern New Mexico. Rociada is the name of the place. We found it last year and determined to come stay here in the future. The future is now, as they say. The owners call it an RV Resort, and if any place qualifies, this does. It encompasses 158 gated acres, so each site is as large as a city lot, with magnificent ponderosa pine towering overhead. There's an adjacent golf course and we think a lot of the people here have come here for the course. There's also a clubhouse with planned activities, which we probably won't participate in, but it's nice that they have activity directors and keep such a close watch on everything. There's no television, which has taken a little getting used to, just for the noise factor. But we sat outside until dark last night, then came inside, talked for a while, and took magazines to bed to read.

I'm pleased with how well the cat and dog are coexisting in such close confines. The cat sleeps with us, which for him is the only joy to camping, and the dog makes her bed on the sofa in the front room of the RV. She cooperates by laying her head at the opposite end from where the cat's food and water are on top of the side table, so he can jump up there unimpeded throughout the night. The dog spends most of the time outside with us. But last night, after the park had quieted, I even harnessed and leashed the cat and took him out with us. Mostly, he was panicked, but I think he enjoyed looking around from the safety of my lap.

We have no neighbors to the front of our trailer, and our friends from home occupy the space behind us. We put one of the picnic tables between our trailer and their motorhome. I fixed a big salad with leftover garlic roasted chicken, and they contributed bagel crisps and meat-stuffed empanadas. Our friend had a birthday the day before, so I had found a small fudge cake decorated with slivered marbled chocolate. We put one candle in it, my SO supplied the fire, and we took it out to the table singing Happy Birthday. I think we surprised her.

Today we're off to Taos. My SO has some business there, and then we're going to the downtown plaza for lunch and to tour Kit Carson's home, and maybe to see the Indian pueblo there. Mainly, though, we need to study how far and difficult the drive is, because we'll be going back through Taos tomorrow on our way to the narrow gauge railhead at the southernmost edge of Colorado.

Nice and cool here this morning. That's what we came for -- the cool weather. We'll have our coffee out under the awning.

Onward ....