This Finite Life/Birthdays

Had a birthday come and go this week, and I intended to blog about it. But it turned out to be such a good day, thanks to my SO, that I was long over the dreary thought of being another year older by the time was day was gone. I believe in many ways my 50s are going to turn out to be my best decade. We were sitting outside cooking steaks, Daddy was here, and the conversation turned to if we were able to go back, which year would we go back to. I realized that there is no time in my life I would return to from here. There's things I would love to have back, like my younger body, but I wouldn't want to relive anything in the past.

But of course, it's a moot point. Life is finite, and we can only go forward. And we just have this one life so we had better make the most of it. I think of that so often when I see people around me not enjoying themselves in the place where they are in their journey. I don't believe in an afterlife. I've tried to make myself, or talk myself into it, but my saner, logical side always wins the war. So for me, it's now or never, and I intend to go forward in happiness. I don't have time for anything less.

My grandson is coming to spend a few days with me next week. I'm so excited about it, I can hardly sleep. I don't have him often, so I'm planning a lot of fun things for us to do. I even joined the local country club so we have access to a less-used swimming pool than the public pool. I drove by the public pool when I found out he was coming for a visit. It was teeming with people, so I drove by the country club pool. There were three adults on the pool apron, and maybe 6 kids in the water. I called a friend who is a member, told her I wanted to become a member also, and she sponsored me in, got me accepted practically overnight, and so THERE! I guess it sometimes pays to pull strings, although I'm usually so adverse to it. They're having a big Father's Day buffet this Sunday, so I made reservations for the three of us. Daddy asked, when I told him we were going, "What do they wear at a Country Club?" I think he imagined he would have to tie a tennis sweater around his neck.

Speaking of Daddy -- his gout really has him sidelined this week. He always downplays his ailments when I talk to him on the phone, so I drove over this evening, ostensibly to take him some buttermilk pie. He can barely walk. I got his scooter in from the garage for him, and tended to some other little chores he had, bringing in the mail, running to the store to fill his "list." We (me, my SO, the dog and cat) were planning to head off for the coast tomorrow, but we have put it on hold and won't go until we see how he is in the morning.

It's so hot anyway. I'm loathe to go outside until just before dark. It's already steamy in the mornings now when I go down to get the paper. I went this morning at 7:10 and was sweating like mad by the time I got back to the house. The dog still goes along, but the cat hangs back by the patio door and leaps inside when I open it. I don't blame him. I feel just about the same desperation. I cannot wait to get to the mountains again. More and more I think I will be ready to move to a cooler clime once there's nothing else keeping us here. I'm getting tired of taking two or three showers a day.

Onward ....