Cinder Blog: 30 Things to Stop Doing

Since this is my first post in the new year, I want to share something I found. This typewritten list was in and among some of the papers my mother kept in a storage bin. I have been trying to focus on going through all of these things my parents left behind, but it's not an easy task. I keep getting sidetracked, sitting in the garage and reading things like with this. I don't know who wrote these 30 things, but there's some good advice in here. I'll share 10 today, 10 tomorrow, and the final 10 after that. Mother had a soft-spot for profound advice, even though she had trouble, like we all do, following those lodestars. I found some of the thoughts in this list to be poignant and personal and ideas I continue to strive towards. Hope you get something out of it, too. Here goes:

1) STOP SPENDING TIME WITH THE WRONG PEOPLE. - Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they'll make room for you. You shouldn't have to fight for a spot. Never, ever push yourself on someone who continuously overlooks your work. And remember, it's not the people that stand by your side when you're at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you're at your worst who are your true friends.

2) STOP RUNNING FROM YOUR PROBLEMS. - Face them head on. No, it won't be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren't supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That's not how we're made. In fact, we're made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble, and fall. Because that's the whole purpose of living - to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. That is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

3) STOP LYING TO YOURSELF. - You can lie to anyone else in the world, but your can't lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult change we can take is to be honest with ourselves.

4) STOP PUTTING YOUR OWN NEEDS ON THE BACK BURNER. - The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

5) STOP TRYING TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT. - One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that's trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don't change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

6) STOP TRYING TO HOLD ONTO THE PAST. - You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

7) STOP BEING SCARED TO MAKE A MISTAKE. - Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

8) STOP BERATING YOURSELF FOR OLD MISTAKES. - We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

9) STOP TRYING TO BUY HAPPINESS. - Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free -- love, laugher, and working on our passions.

10) STOP EXCLUSIVELY LOOKING TO OTHERS FOR HAPPINESS. - If you're not happy with who you are on the inside, you won't be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.