Yesterday, I explained what this is (apparently they were my mother's goals) and I set down the first 10 on the list. Today is the next 10. It seems to me that the list will mean different things to different people. Could be work-related, could be friend-related, and could be relationship-related. I wish I knew which ones meant the most to my mother. I can guess, but who truly knows another person, especially your parents? Anyway, for what it's worth, here goes:
11) STOP BEING IDLE - Don't think too much or you'll create a problem that wasn't even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can't make it to second base with your foot still on first.
12) STOP THINKING YOU'RE NOT READY - Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won't feel totally comfortable at first.
13) STOP GETTING INVOLVED IN RELATIONSHIPS FOR THE WRONG REASONS - Relationships must be chosen wisely. It's better to be alone than to be in bad company. There's no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen -- in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reasons.
14) STOP REJECTING NEW RELATIONSHIPS JUST BECAUSE OLD ONES DIDN'T WORK. - In life you'll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15) STOP TRYING TO COMPETE AGAINST EVERYONE ELSE. - Don't worry about others doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16) STOP BEING JEALOUS OF OTHERS. - Jealousy is the art of counting someone else's blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: "What's something I have that everyone wants?" And when you find the answer, be grateful and count that as an asset.
17) STOP COMPLAINING AND FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF. - Life's curveballs are thrown for a reason - to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment is happens, and it may be rough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. Often, you'll see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18) STOP HOLDING GRUDGES. - Don't live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, "What you did to me is OK." It is saying, "I'm not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness." Forgiveness is the answer ... let go, find peace, liberate yourself by forgiving! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it's for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on, and try to do better next time.
19) STOP LETTING OTHERS BRING YOU DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL. - Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20) STOP WASTING TIME EXPLAINING YOURSELF TO OTHERS. - Your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is the right thing for any given situation.
Mother as a bride. She was oh-so young, just barely 16. I think she missed out on a lot by not waiting until she was older. That may have been part of her struggle. To me, this list, even with all its wisdom, informs me a little more of the things she struggled with. She was not always an easy person, but I think she strived hard to be easier, maybe more tolerant. I'd be lying if I didn't admit to the many clashes she and I had through the years. Still, I have missed her, and I wonder if now that I'm an old woman, she and I would have been more sympatico.
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