June Budding

First day of June. I hope this is a better month. It's hot as hell outside, and I can't wait to get back to the mountains. Wanting to spend my birthday there this year. Actually, more and more, I'm wanting to move there permanently. The painter has been there since we left, and I'm anxious to see how it turned out. Little apprehensive about the color I chose for above the fireplace. I was attempting to match or blend with the bricks, and I'm worried it could be too garish or dark. Fingers crossed.

Last night I talked to a carpenter about some of the things I want to do next up there. He seemed nice and competent. He came to me recommended by the lady who cat-sat for me back in January. I liked her, and trust that since she runs the recycle center she knows just about everyone in the area. We sure don't. And there is a tendency for people to hear where the cabin is and then to want to stick it to us on price. It does no good to explain that ours is one of the smallest and oldest houses in the development.

Emailed with the real estate agent friend who helped me with the last three houses. Without looking at all the improvements we have made to this house in Texas, which she also sold to me, she quoted a figure she thought we could get if we sold right now. It was a good price, not as high as I hoped, but certainly a good bit more than I paid. With the economy still in a general slump, even with the oil/gas boom going on locally, I would be happy with that price. I could pay off the loan here and the loan in New Mexico, get totally out of debt, and still have money leftover for remodeling the kitchen up there. Certainly is tempting. The only holdup is the fact that I would be moving 800+ miles from my dad.

Meanwhile, we continue to nursemaid the kitty. The last prednisone shot gave him a real boost, but it does seem to be wearing off somewhat. I'm concerned about taking him with us on the long long car trip, but I don't know what else we can do. He sleeps a lot, and is distant, but still engaged and active.

There's an unusual phenomenon taking place with him and I don't know if it's typical or not with an animal who is dealing with a terminal disease like lymphoma. He is exhibiting regressive behavior, doing things he has not done since he was a youngster. He's catching lizards and grasshoppers, spending his naptimes lying on sheets of newspaper, asking to go outside, and then doing his latrine business out there. All of these are habits that have long been stowed away since he moved inside the house, but that have obviously remained in his psyche.

It's probably some comfort to him to fall back on old ways. I don't know. I do know that he has pulled away from me, no longer wants to cuddle much or have his head petted or any of the lovey-dovey things we have done with each other for years. My friend, who used to work for a vet, thinks it's him weaning me away. Interesting idea, but I don't think I buy it. I don't believe that animals have the same sort of thought-processes humans do. But there could be something to the idea of our bond breaking down because of the disease. I think his brain has been affected somewhat. I'm still touched by certain moments, but mostly saddened by the loss of closeness. Still, I will continue to help him all I can, through this last stage of his life.

Onward ....