Friends in Need

This has been the week for tending to good friends. My SO's longtime best friend went in the hospital for knee replacement surgery and ended up in a coma from the morphine and liver failure. We've been feeding their dogs and checking in on their cows. I can tell that the SO is addled and upset by all of this. I had to practically drag him out of the hospital room last night. I could see that the friend's wife was ready for us to leave, but I think the SO's heart is broken to see his boyhood friend in such a terrible state. Sad situation. And unexpected, which makes it even worse. Sort of reaffirms the tenuousness of life.

A dear friend of mine is going through a nasty and painful divorce. She called me in tears this Wednesday and I met her for a light supper. She just needed to vent more than anything, and is trying to look at it all through a sensible lens, but knows that I understand where she's coming from better than some of her other friends. She had everything written down on paper and showed it to me, the financial breakdown, what she stands to lose and gain, and asked me what I thought about the "deal" her lawyer is going for. I gave her a perfunctory answer and then added that she would do well to aim for closure, moving on with her life, and reminded her that when these things drag on and on the only ones who win are the lawyers. She nodded, but changed the subject, so I'm not sure she really got my message, or didn't want to hear it, or both.

I'm reminded of what my grandmother said to me once, when I was a very young woman going through my first divorce, a teenage marriage that never should have happened at all. But I was devastated, or thought I was, and my grandmother said, "In a year you will look back and it won't hurt so much." What she was saying is that time is the great healer. Such a cliche and such a truth, too, as most cliches actually are. I think back to where I was emotionally just three years ago, and would have never believed I'd have the life I now have and love so much, or be so happy. Hopefully that test of a year will turn out as well for these two dear friends, too.

My article came out in today's paper. Here's a link: www.victoriaadvocate.com/news/2009/sep/25/vp_healthcare_col_bonner_67357/?columns

I'm not sure how long that link will be good, but for today it works. I've tried it myself.

No more editing was done to it, so I guess my whittle-job, painful as it was, worked out good enough for the editor.

Our hummingbirds have truly passed through. Only about three or four seem to still be feeding on the nectar we have out. Sorry they left so soon, I enjoyed their company. The cardinals and doves are still around, and actually seem to be in sight more now that the hummers have moved on. The doves are here hiding out from the hunters all around us. I hear shotgun fire regularly in the mornings.

Yesterday, we had a painted bunting. Watched him through the living room window as he pecked a seed head on a clump of bahia grass growing by the nearest flower bed. He was parrot-gaudy, and nervous to be showing himself so openly. It's only the second time I have ever seen one in person, and the SO had never seen one at all. He seemed fascinated by it and delighted by its loud, multi-colored feathers. Fun to watch the SO grow more and more interested in birds. He's usually the one who fills the feeders now when they're empty, both here and at the place on the Coast. He's says he never paid much attention before, called them all "tweeties" and pretty much took them for granted. Now, he enjoys learning their names and watching their habits -- beautiful creatures living on a higher plane, we do sometimes forget to share our worlds.

The dog ran the five resident deer out from under the corn feeder this morning. Again! She is so territorial since we moved here. Doesn't want anything furry coming onto her three acres. It does no good to scold her, and she isn't out to hurt anything, just wants to run them off. I admit I get a kick out of watching her turn on the turbo-charger when she sees a usurper. She becomes this black dart flying across the yard! I imagine she scared them to death. Once they were gone over the fence, she calmed down and came along with me to the gate to collect the newspaper. She enjoys that little morning walk. I picked a bouquet of blue and red wild flowers growing beside the cattleguard, took them in a souvenir-shotglass-turned-bud-vase to the SO with his coffee. Absolutely worth the smile I got in return.

I'm thinking I'll work on the children's book some this week. Have lots of outside interference with Daddy's 85th birthday upcoming, but will try to work it all in. I've never even put the first handwritten draft on the computer. It's a process that usually works to get me engaged. Writing children's literature is not as easy as some people seem to believe. I'm not even sure I can do it, but we shall see.

Onward....