Home Again & Back To Work

So we have been in Denver for a week, at my SO's semi-annual market/convention. This was my eighth time to go with him and what happens is you get into the merchandising mindset, sort of caught up in the hoopla that goes on at these things. And having been an outside salesman myself years ago, I'm familiar with all that goes into these markets, how you have to psyche yourself up for them, and how gung-ho you get while you're there. So, in the spirit of the moment, I signed myself up to sell a line of ladies embellished tops for a company, thinking it would or could be some "gravy money," as my son said when I told him. I  might be needing a little of that, who doesn't, in the upcoming years. So, samples are supposed to arrive in the next few days, and then I guess I will be seeing which stores I can sell these things to -- who knows. It might be fun. Might help pay for the new office I would like to build outside the back door someday.

In the meantime, though, I am committed to getting myself back in the writing frame of mind, setting aside a certain time each day to sit at my desk, as I am right now, and putting some words on the screen. I used to say "words on paper" but those days are waning fast. Re-reading THE PASSION OF DELLIE O'BARR for Kindle conversion has given me the itch to get back to working on that screenplay I started last summer, before all the tragedy and interruptions came along to waylay the whole household.

While we were in Denver, I visited one of the Apple Store there, looking into getting a new laptop, finding out what is compatible with this old one and what is not. I have decided to wait until this one just absolutely conks out before spending all that money. This one still serves most of my purposes and the biggest trouble with it seems to be the slow internet connection I have in the mountains, not the computer itself. Inside the Denver hotel, with their "for-real" high-speed internet, this old laptop worked like a youngster instead of it's true 6-year old self. I like the Appleworks word processing program and don't want to have to learn WORD or PAGES or any of the other newer stuff. So me and Bessie will soldier on together. (Hey, I just gave my laptop her name!)

And speaking of writing time -- don't want to spend it all writing this blog.

Onward ....

Writing on the Road, and Leaving Colorado

A good thing that has happened on this trip is I've discovered I really can work on the road. I had a really good writing day on Saturday, felt myself melting back into the story, and it reminded me about the wonderful part of writing, when it takes hold of you and you lose track of everything else around you. I'm now sort of thinking that the idea of leaving home, leaving the phone interruptions, the plants that need watering, the floors that need vacuuming, the meals that need preparing, has been helpful in an odd way, at least as far as focus is concerned. And this after all these years of thinking I had to be at home, had to have my desk, my files, my surroundings.

That said, I will admit I have some things at home I wish I had brought here with me, or I wish at least, that I had taken the time to take a better inventory before I left. Now, that I've finished reading what is actually in the manuscript, I'm seeing more clearly things that should be there but aren't, and in several cases, these things are parts and pieces, and whole chapters, that were cut out and should go back in. Writing is such a process, so much more than most people who have never written understand. I was telling my SO yesterday that my last two books took an entire case of 24 reams of paper, with all the rewriting that I do. I am admittedly a compulsive re-writer, but for me, it's what works. Someone said recently that anybody can act, but only a few can act well. I think the same can be said of writers. Anybody can write, but only a few can write well. I want to be part of the few, and for me that means many MANY rewrites.

We are just about done with Colorado. Yippee! Strange to me that so many people I know hold Colorado in such high regard. I admit that some of the mountain places are lovely, but this part where everybody lives, the Denver area, to me is just as bad as Houston. The air is bad. The traffic is hideous. The roads are in deplorable condition. The mountains, the Front Range, as they call them, have been defaced by microwave towers and other distractions. I don't find the people to be especially friendly. And I also don't consider their so-called artsy, liberal, creative attractions to be authentic like it is, say, in New York. At least the people in New Mexico are honest in their tunnel vision. I'm not sure that makes perfect sense, but to me there is just something phony about this whole area, and I guess it's the authenticity that I miss whenever I'm here. So I'm happy to be saying goodbye to it until January.

Onward .... (and not soon enough!)

Homesick in Denver

Tired and ready to head home. I guess I really am good for about 7 days away from home, and then I start getting homesick. Been this way almost all of my life. There's just no other place I love as much as my home, wherever it may be. In my adult life I have moved a total of 24 times. Some of those places never really became home. Wasn't there long enough, particularly in the Air Force years with my second ex. But just about any time I park myself somewhere for more than a few months, my internal homing instinct kicks in, and that place becomes the place where I belong. When I go away from it, after about 7 days I start to feel like a fish out of water, and begin to get testy.

That's where I am today. Testy and ready to depart. I think the dog feels just about the same way as I do. And really, I know the SO is also ready to go home. He's tired, not enjoying the market this morning, and was already talking about leaving as soon as it closes tomorrow, which is noonish. We will check out of this hotel in the morning before we go over to the Trade Mart, and leave from there as soon as humanly possible.

We stayed out too late last night. And I had one too many glasses of wine. My stomach's upset from it today, so I left before noon and brought the dog back to the room. We also ran into one of his "old buddies" -- yet another one I don't particularly like -- and got the same old "stories I could tell" routine. I'm just not sure what people are thinking when they make those sorts of statements. Certainly not about the way it makes the person it's directed at feel. It seems to be more of one-upsman-thing, like they're saying, "I know things you don't, nany nany boo-boo." I just said, "I've heard the old stories," and let it go at that, but it does get tiresome.

Still dealing with issues with this script of LILY. I have found some things in it that really are unacceptable to me. At the present moment I'm of the mindset that if some particulars cannot be changed, then I would rather not have my name attached. And of course, that would mean that a good bit of this thing would have to be changed or else they will have to just forget it altogether. The bait they dangle is $$$$ -- and I will admit that I'm not immune to it completely. But money has never been my primary motivator, and I don't want it to be now either. I would hate for there to have been a movie made of any one of my books that would make me feel ashamed. The way this script is right now, I think I would feel that way. So there it is. Probably the same dilemma all writers face when dealing with Hollywood. They just don't think the same way we do. In fact, it's such a huge disconnect that I don't even know if it can be bridged.

Yesterday, I went to a local mall here. I'd been there on other trips up here for market. While I was there, I found an Apple store. Needed a replacement battery for this laptop. The old battery has got to where it will not hold a charge for more than about 30 minutes. So I bought a new one, and while I was waiting for the ticket to be rang up, I perused the software shelf. There was a new version of Final Draft, which is a screenwriting program for Mac. I had an old version back before USB ports, etc. It's kind of pricey so I didn't buy it but I certainly was tempted. I really would love to try my hand at doing the LILY screenplay. I've read two different ones by two different screenwriters, now, and I just really think I could do a better job, stay truer to the book, and still have a slicker version of the story than either one of these writers have managed to do. I do understand how difficult it is to get something made, especially a story like this one that is historical in nature, has animals, and no CG! But I still don't think it has to be necessary to sell out the story. Sigh!

Onward ....

Foot Sore in Denver

Bummer! Nothing worse than having a bad foot at a trade show. We're in Denver for my SO's semi-annual trade show, and I have a horrible case of plantar fasciitis. Feels like a hot roofing nail is stabbing my left heel. I've been to the foot doctor already four times, and am due back on the 27th. I'm afraid I'm going to need surgery to correct this. I've had two excruciating injections into my foot, and am now wearing a brace, or removable cast, to cushion my heel, but it's helping very little. I'm feeling pretty depressed about it right now, and like a bit of an invalid. Ignoring it certainly doesn't help. I tried that for several weeks before I resorted to a doctor's visit.

It's weird how something to do with ailments or health problems can become such an issue. I had bought new high-heeled boots to wear with my skirts while I was here. That was a couple of hundred bucks wasted. And I'm really starting to feel like an albatross around my SO's neck, even though he's been so understanding and sweet about it all. But still ... what a drag to be partnered with someone who can't walk fast or well. It's driving me crazy. I hate to be out of commission, and it seems like I have been an awful lot lately.

On a brighter note, I saw an old friend yesterday. She knew about my foot situation and so she drove over to our hotel and we had lunch in the room. She stayed for about three hours, but it felt more like 30 minutes. We have always just jabbered our hearts out when we're together, and yesterday was no different. Time flew by. She's always so sensible, and sort of made me realize how unimportant, really, in the grand scheme, is my latest dilemma.

Without back-tracking over the last ten years, it's to do with a filmmaker who has had my first book optioned a couple of times and wants to renew. I have been thinking seriously about trying to write a screenplay myself of that book. It's never been done to my satisfaction, and this time is no exception. I've made a pretty big fuss in the last week, probably caused a lot of hard feelings, but I just hate to compromise the book's story. I really like this filmmaker as a person, just not crazy about her script. There are a lot of things in there that are so far afield from what I intended when I wrote the book. But my old friend said yesterday that I should renew one more time -- she said, what have you got to lose? And I've been thinking about that. I haven't finished reading the latest script yet, so I really can't answer my friend's question at this point. But the truth is, I just don't care that much and it's been causing me a lot of needless worry and upset.

Once our three hour visit was done, I took the dog out for a romp. My foot was hurting pretty badly, so I went around to an open space near our hotel, and let her off her leash. Snow is still on the ground from a blizzard last week, and she took off through the banks without hesitation. The dog has lived in Colorado before, when the SO lived here, and she's never minded snow. She just blasts out into it with such abandon and sheer joy. She makes me laugh and takes my mind off all this extraneous stuff. Life is, as the saying goes, too short. The older I get the more I realize the truth in that.

Onward ....